Ceo Plans Comic Strips - Page 66

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

676 Results for Ceo Plans

View 651 - 660 results for ceo plans comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #take a contract, #please review, #copies, #original, #cannot approve, #obstruction of dogs, #fits any situation, #absurd logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I have to take a contract to our company lawyer. I need your help, Dogbert." Dilbert and Dogbert sit in front of a lawyer's desk. Dilbert says, "Please review this contract. I need it today." The attorney replies, "Give me all of your copies plus the original then go away." Dogbert screams, "Don't do it! He plans to lose them!!" Dilbert says, "Good dog!" The lawyer says, "Dang!" The lawyer looks at the contract and says, "I can't approve this. Somebody might sue us for no good reason." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That's true with any contract. Isn't he using absurd logic?" Dogbert replies, "Let's find out." Dogbert stands on his chair and shouts, "Approve the contract now or I'll sue you for obstruction of dogs!!" The lawyer says, "Okay okay." Dilbert says, "Wow." Dogbert says, "The great thing about absurd logic is that it fits any situation."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fields of heather, #flying dreams, #important change, #soon increase, #somebody else, #new ceo

View Transcript

Transcript

In a dream, Dilbert flies through the sky. He thinks, "In my dream I float over fields of heather." Below him a girl waves and says, "Hi! I'm Heather." Dilbert thinks, "The flying dream always predicts an important change. I feel that my freedom will soon increase." Dilbert wakes up in a meeting as the Boss asks, "Does somebody else have a question for our new CEO?" Dilbert's arms are out-streched and his finger is stuck in the CEO's ear. Dilbert thinks, "My finger is stuck."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #turn the house, #gambling casino, #illeagl, #tiny republic, #dogbertland, #seed from repressive, #morning, #voting, #green card

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert spreads construction plans on the table and says to Dilbert, "I'm planning to turn the house into a gambling casino." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that illegal?" Dogbert replies, "Not in the tiny republic of Dogbertland. I seceded from the repressive homeland this morning." Dilbert says, "I don't remember voting on that." Dogbert hands him a card and says, "Here's your green card."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spare cubicles, #house convicts, #opinions mattered, #prisoners complained

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Effective immediately, we will no longer use our spare cubicles to house convicts." Wally raises his fist and says, "Yes!!! Our opinions mattered!" The Boss says, "Actually it's because the prisoners complained." Wally and Dilbert walk down the hall past a cubicle. Dilbert says, "I wonder what he plans to do with spare cubicles now." They cannot see that there are pigs inside the cubicle.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spare cubicles, #convicts, #bigot, #little mistake, #health plan better

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle wearing a hard hat and reading some construction plans. Dilbert says, "I don't think it's fair to put convicts in our spare cubicles." Dogbert says, "Don't be such a bigot. These people have made one little mistake. Otherwise, they're just like employees." Dilbert says, "I think there are a few differences!" Dogbert responds, "Yeah, their health plan is better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big job, #downsizing, #hired dogbert construction, #lease to state, #new carpet, #prison cells, #empty cubicles

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've got a lot of empty cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss points to Dogbert, who is wearing a hard hat and holding some plans, and says, "I hired the Dogbert Construction Company to convert part of the office into prison cells which we'll lease to the state." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sounds like a big job." Dogbert responds, "Nah. A little paint, new carpet and we're there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve career, #ceo, #refer first name, #recent meeting, #rule, #iron fist, #funny dog

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "Try this little trick to improve your career . . ." Dogbert continues, "Anytime you want something your way, simply refer to your CEO by his first name and say he gave you directions during your very recent meeting." Dogbert continues, "It's totally unverifiable. People will fear you and do as you say. You'll rule with an iron fist!" Dilbert responds, "You're a funny little dog."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #any rumors false, #no plans, #no relocation plans, #south pole, #eskimos, #replaced by, #liar boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I want to assure you that any rumors you've heard are false." The Boss continues, "We are NOT planning to relocate the company to the South Pole where easily trainable native Eskimos will replace you." Dilbert says, "That's good because there aren't any Eskimos at the South Pole." The Boss looks shocked and says, "Excuse me, I have to make a phone call."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pulling rank, #vice president, #teaching himself banjo, #wait in hallway, #offcie, #feet on desk, #making wait

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Im running late. But since Im a Vice president. you'll have to wait in the hallway. You'll be able to judge your relative worth by observing what thing I do while you wait. Dilbert: He's teaching himself banjo.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management fast tracker, #deliver big report, #ceo, #fax, #shredder, #tricked, #punked, #contempt

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Matt. How's our favorite management fast-tracker?" "Great! I've got two minutes to deliver my big report to our CEO. Can you tell me where the fax is?" "Oops, I'm wrong. That's the shredder." "He'll go far in this company." "Bzzzzp."