Hands Of Death Comic Strips - Page 66

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670 Results for Hands Of Death

View 651 - 660 results for hands of death comic strips. Discover the best "Hands Of Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Volunteers For Mars Trip

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Volunteers For Mars Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical

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Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

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Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #space flight, #rocket, #death, #sacrifice, #astronaut, #medical

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CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Spreading Ted's Ashes

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Spreading Ted's Ashes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #ashes, #cremation, #death, #spreading, #toilet, #medical

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Alice: Ted's widow asked us to spread his ashes around the office because he loved his job. Wally: I'll do it. Alice: You didn't like Ted. Wally: Was that a requirement? Alice: Don't let anyone see you flush it.

Sparing A Robot's Feelings

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Sparing A Robot's Feelings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #sentience, #feelings, #emotions, #afterlife, #death, #atheism, #medical

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Robot: What kind of afterlife are we looking at here? Dilbert: Your meaningless existence will be punctuated by an eternity of darkness. Robot: Thanks for sparing my feelings! Dilbert: Sorry. I usually delete those first.

Reanimated Employee

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Reanimated Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #soul, #death, #near death experience, #heaven, #hell, #medical

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Dilbert: How did you end up with no soul? Randy: I died during surgery and my soul went to the afterlife before doctors reanimated my body. Dilbert: I thought the soul returns when that happens. Randy: You're thinking of heaven.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #team, #teamwork, #team building, #death, #cover-up, #denial, #human resources, #drowning, #rafting, #business, #medical

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Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.

Ted Might Drop Dead

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Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction, #medical

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Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sociopath, #obliviousness, #tell-all

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Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Hot And Cold In The Office

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Hot And Cold In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #thermostat, #disagreement, #hot, #cold

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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so cold my hands turned into blocks of ice. Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so hot I can't concentrate. Boss: Are the two of you the same species? Dilbert: That's a gray area because it would be impossible for us to mate.

Value Of An Employee's Life

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Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #big business, #ethics, #morals, #morality, #death, #damage, #value, #medical

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Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!