Job Comic Strips - Page 66
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Character
936 Results for Job
View 651 - 660 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 22,
2010
Tags new product, block of wood, ceo, salesman, high forehead, inneundo, leader
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."
Monday October 25,
2010
Tags meeting, buzzword, idiot, intern, grab tie, cross eyes, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Tradition requires that every meeting has one buzzword-babbling idiot." Dilbert says, "We have no natural today, so Asok has graciously agreed to fill the role." Alice says, "Good job. You're totally selling it." Asok says, "We need a multi-platform application strategy!"
Thursday October 28,
2010
Tags entrepreneurial, Advice, drink coffee, fail, do nothing, annoyed
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm taking your advice to be more entrepreneurial at my job." Wally says, "Failing 90% of the time is very similar to not trying at all. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell the difference." Wally says, "Which one am I doing now?"
Monday November 08,
2010
Tags consultant, role model, angry, sociopath, annoyed, business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You're doing a great job as a role model." Dogbert says, "Half of your employees have already turned into pudgy sociopaths." Dogbert says, "And they're quick to anger."
Thursday December 02,
2010
Tags meeting, old coworker, whisper, secret, knowledge, die, evil smile, grin, business
Transcript
Boss says, "Old Johannsen has kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge." Johannsen says, "Pss pss pss pss psss"B<R>The Boss says, "There's the worst-case scenario right there."
Monday January 12,
2009
Tags acting, lesson, occupation
Transcript
The Boss says, "We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire." The Boss says, "I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful." man says, "Are you dead or just non-expressive?" Dilbert says, "It's called a 'job'"
Thursday January 15,
2009
Tags help, Advice, work, fear, job, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "In my spare time I came up with an idea for your project." Ted says, "Your idea is so good that it makes all the work I did for the past year a miserable mistake." Dilbert says, "You're welcome." Ted says, "I can't let you leave this cubicle alive."
Thursday January 29,
2009
Tags interview, sweat, nervous, rudeness
Transcript
Job interview Woman says, "I detect the flop sweat of desperation." Woman says, "I base my hiring decisions on who would make a good mate, and I would never want to give life to your sweaty baby." Woman says, "Do you see what I'm saying?" crumple Dilbert says, "Can I try again when I'm dehydrated?"
Tuesday February 03,
2009
Tags interview, job, hanging, ridiculous, humiliation, business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "In your first round of interviews we tested your reaction to humiliation and small arms fire." Dogbert says, "In round two I will test your ability to keep company secrets." Ratbert says, "When are you going to tell him this is a courtesy interview?" Dilbert says, "What?"
Friday February 06,
2009
Tags evil, murder, refusal, reprimand
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "your boss says you refuse to do your job." Dilbert says, "he told me to kill a customer, assume her identity, and place a huge order with the company." Catbert says, "I'll transfer your to the collections department until you're willing to kill."

