Project Requiremnets Comic Strips - Page 66

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

669 Results for Project Requiremnets

View 651 - 660 results for project requiremnets comic strips. Discover the best "Project Requiremnets" comics from Dilbert.com.

Helping Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #frustration, #help, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Welcome Baskets

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Welcome Baskets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #racism, #new employee

View Transcript

Transcript

alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.

Bad Planning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.

Employee Engagement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office, #time, #engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.

Drooling Incompetents

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #competent, #incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

The New Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

Poor Communication Skills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Wally Wears Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Wears Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #avoidance, #hear, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.

Scourge Of Teamwork

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.