Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 67

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View 661 - 670 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Rot From The Inside

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Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, ethic, abysmal, loan, project, hate, rot, idea, raise

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boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?

Coronavirus

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Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 24 hours, business, coronavirus, health, home, remote, tragic, work from home

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dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.

Dogbert Hovers

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Dogbert Hovers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, working from home, annoy, work, hear, footsteps, hoover, health, coronavirus, excuse, living

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dilbert: i can't get any work done at home because i keep hearing your footsteps all day! dogbert: excuse me for living. i'll try hovering from now on. dilbert: can you do that? dogbert hovering: there's a lot you don't know about me.

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Tracking Dilbert

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Tracking Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags body cam, freedom, keystrokes, location, managers & supervisors, phone, report, status, technology, track, video conference, work at home, working

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dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.

Helpful Advice

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Helpful Advice   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, Advice, personal, life, quality, work

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co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.

Becoming Golem

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Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, creature, cynical, doom, experience, face mask, golem, jaded, lord of the rings, office workers, work, coffee, sarcasm

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asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Compared To Alice

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Compared To Alice  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, comparision, face mask, good, office workers, punish, sarcasm, selfish, tragic, work

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alice: you did great work on this...which has the tragic effect of making my work look less good in comparison. dilbert: will you be punishing me for my good work? alice: yes, but think of it as you not being selfish.

Quarantine Wally

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Quarantine Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoid, business, clean, covid-19, hazmat suit, health & safety, quarantine, symptoms, wash, pandemic

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man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.

Thought Leader

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Thought Leader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, calendar, assistant, leader, delegation, thought, work, hands

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boss: ask my assistant to put it on my calendar. dilbert: why can't you just put it on your calendar right now? boss: i'm more of a thought leader. i don't like to work with my hands.