Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 67
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993 Results for Job Interview
View 661 - 670 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 04,
2013
Tags online (web) news, news manufaturer, online media, misleading headlines, snarky bow, news naturally, engineer, news magic, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday January 06,
2013
Tags complaining, team members, work, motivation, make waves
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get one of my team members to do any work. I'm hoping you can talk to his boss. Boss: I don't want to make waves. Dilbert: It's your job to make waves! They pay you to make waves, you worthless pile of stupidity! Oops. Wally: I heard you made waves. How'd that work out? Dilbert: Surprisingly bad.
Friday February 01,
2013
Tags laziness, managers & supervisors, devote energy, projects, setting priorities, business
Transcript
Boss: And I need it by next week. Dilbert: I will devote 3.7% of my energy to it. I can give you more if you do your job of setting priorities for my 27 projects. Boss: Can't you set the priorities? Dilbert: Sure. This one just went to 1.7%.
Sunday March 10,
2013
Tags work ethic, fired, programming code, undocumented, passwords, death spiral, huge raise
Transcript
Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.
Monday March 04,
2013
Tags cruelty, maintenance plan, managers & supervisors, over budget, take chances, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Should we buy the maintenance plan or just take our chances? What do you prefer? Boss: I prefer to punish you for buying the maintenance plan and going over budget, but I also don't mind firing you for not buying it if we later need it. Which one of us has a better job?
Monday April 08,
2013
Tags cruelty, monsters, taxes, sadistic monster, income tax code, complicated, regressive tax codes, like minds
Transcript
Monster: The best part of being a sadistic monster is that my job is to write the income tax code. Look how complicated I made it. Hee hee! Dogbert: You do good work, Stanky. Monster: But is it regressive enough? Dogbert: It's like we share a brain because you keep saying what I'm thinking.
Tuesday February 05,
2008
Tags identify systems, inefficient, new standards, passive aggressive, freelancer
Transcript
Alice: That thing is called a "boss." His job is to identify systems that are inefficient and make them our new standards. The Boss: I do way more than that. Alice: Don't look directly at it."
Friday February 15,
2008
Tags server, project, virtualization, rates, online, trouble ticket, scam, inside job
Transcript
Dogbert: The server virtualization project is done, and there are no trouble tickets. My rates might seem steep, but remember, there are no trouble tickets. Dilbert: Our online trouble ticket system is broken."
Friday February 22,
2008
Tags wally fired, exit interview, manipulation, rigged system, boss, exploding servers
Transcript
Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.
Saturday February 23,
2008
Tags firing, humorless stain, interview boss, soul of humanity, support thesis, worship satan
Transcript
Dogbert: The Dogbert gazette is doing a story on your firing of an employee for posting a comic on the wall. I need some quotes that support my thesis of you being a humorless stain on the soul of humanity. Would you say you worship satan, or do you simply respect his nonsense approach to discipline?

