Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 67
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991 Results for Nose Job
View 661 - 670 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 12,
2008
Tags pronouned hay-soos, fixed eye sight, hair regrow, 40 shares, punch pilot light, ceo, team organizer
Transcript
Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday April 08,
2008
Tags bad raise, boss, fired, managing expectations, heartless
Transcript
The Boss: You're fired! woman: Gaaa!!!" The Boss: Not really. But now this 2% raise won't seem so bad. This job is all about managing expectations."
Tuesday June 17,
2008
Tags gossip, spreading rumors, monkey could do, corporate newsletter, trick question
Transcript
Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"
Monday July 21,
2008
Tags moral compass, healed, position of power, narrow gap, executive pay, worker pay
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."
Tuesday July 22,
2008
Tags ceo, thrown out window, press charges, security, gunning for job, hire for yacht, policeman
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."
Friday August 08,
2008
Tags cooked books, pension fund, 15% per year, crooks, optimists, whistling noise, soul escaping
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."
Tuesday September 02,
2008
Tags no budget, raise, quit, job refernce, work again, manipulate, harrasment
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, there's no budget to give you a raise, but I'll give you something that is just as good." The Boss says, "I promise that if you quit on me I will give you a bad reference and you will never work again." Alice says, "How is that just as good as a raise?" The Boss says, "Try to see it from my point of view."
Friday September 05,
2008
Tags cost estimates, eyebrwo, ghost, recognize ghost, helpful, how to kill, garlic and shopvac
Transcript
A man says, "Alice, when will I get your cost estimates?" Alice says, "When will your one eyebrow turn into two?" The man says, "Is that the ghost of the guy who used to have your job? He makes you look bad because he was always helpful." Alice says, "If you're so helpful, tell me how to kill you." The ghost says, "Dang... try garlic and a shop-vac."
Friday September 12,
2008
Tags worked around clock, ten programmers, establish new baseline, tragic death march, stretch golas, stupid
Transcript
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Wednesday September 24,
2008
Tags director of the green, director of something else, screwing up
Transcript
The Boss says, "Andy has been appointed our director of green." Dilbert says, "Director of green? How do you get a job like that?" Andy says, "You start by being the director of something else and screwing it up."

