Buy Put Options Comic Strips - Page 67

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

727 Results for Buy Put Options

View 661 - 670 results for buy put options comic strips. Discover the best "Buy Put Options" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #laziness, #fairness, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Virtual Vr And Jail Program

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virtual Vr And Jail Program - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #cubicle, #office, #torture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you requested, I wrote a VR program that makes users feel as if they are in cubicles. I put only your name on the credits because I expect an angry mob to kill whoever created it. I also wrote a VR jail program in case you want to be in protective custody. Boss: I might need that.

Priorities

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #priorities, #culture, #company, #money, #greed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There seems to be some confusion about what our company culture is. Boss: Our priorities are honesty, integrity, and return on investment. Alice: Which priority is the highest? Boss: Integrity won't buy me a new boat.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #climate change, #carbon dioxide, #emissions, #global warming, #environmental issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #power, #interns, #roadblock

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #blackmail, #extortion, #spying, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Wally Waits For Information

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #procrastination, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumors, #accusation, #lying, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #deception, #secret, #choosing, #choices

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?