Office Comic Strips - Page 67
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997 Results for Office
View 661 - 670 results for office comic strips. Discover the best "Office" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 22,
2019
Darkest Before The Dawn
Tags business, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
Alice: Our product pipeline looks dismal. Boss: It's always darkest before the dawn. Alice: You're comparing product development to the solar system. I don't know what to do with that. Boss: What would Jesus do?
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Saturday February 23,
2019
Hard Work Is The Key
Tags Advice, office, office workers, success, difficult
Transcript
Boss: The key to your personal success is hard work. Dilbert: Was it hard for you to learn that? Boss: No, it was easy. Dilbert: Do you mind if I get my advice from someone who worked it at harder?
Thursday February 28,
2019
Mandatory Training
Tags avoidance, office, office workers, sarcasm, training
Transcript
Boss: You haven't finished the mandatory compliance training modules. Alice: I'm waiting for a strategic time to do them. Boss: Oh, okay. Want to go to lunch? Alice: I would love to, but I have training modules to do.
Saturday March 02,
2019
Have To Think About It
Tags business ethics, idea, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you like my idea? Boss: I need to think about it. Dilbert: You mean you plan to wait a few weeks and then act as if it was your idea? Boss: Now that idea I like right away.
Monday March 04,
2019
Dilbert And Brainwashing
Tags avoidance, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.
Tuesday March 05,
2019
Asok's Employee Engagement
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, attitude, expectations
Transcript
Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.
Thursday March 07,
2019
Dogbert's Self Defense School
Tags employees, enemies, murder, office workers, training, manipulation, defense
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.
Friday March 08,
2019
My Last Company
Tags criticism, employees, employment, office, office workers
Transcript
Man: That's not the way we did it at my last company. Dilbert: Now I hate you and I don't want to interact with you in any way in the future. Man: Okay, that sounds just like my last company.
Saturday March 09,
2019
Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed
Tags life, office, office workers, panic, overwhelmed
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done. Boss: Have you tried eliminating your personal life? Dilbert: That took care of itself. Boss: Okay, that's the only idea I had.
Sunday March 17,
2019
Tags failure, inventions, office workers, power, science, success
Transcript
Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

