Personal Use Comic Strips - Page 67
753 Results for Personal Use
View 661 - 670 results for personal use comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Use" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 01, 2015's comic on:
CEO: Our plan is to use robots for all the jobs that are dangerous or demeaning. No one cares if a robot gets ripped to shreds in an industrial accident. Robot: Eh? CEO: Are we cool? Robot: I'm cool, but you're going to be room temperature.
Share September 15, 2015's comic on:
Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.
Share October 11, 2015's comic on:
Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?
Share October 16, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.
Share October 17, 2015's comic on:
Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.
Share October 29, 2015's comic on:
Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.
Share November 07, 2015's comic on:
Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.
Share November 21, 2015's comic on:
Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.
Share December 05, 2015's comic on:
Robot: Buwhahahaha! I will use my superior robot brain to enslave humankind! Wally: That probably sounds better than it would actually be. How It Would Be: Wally: I'm tired. I need to recharge. Robot: Gaaaa!!! I hate owning you!
Share January 20, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.