Everybody Likes Project Comic Strips - Page 67
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770 Results for Everybody Likes Project
View 661 - 670 results for everybody likes project comic strips. Discover the best "Everybody Likes Project" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 09,
2015
The Problem Is People
Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday January 09,
2016
Engineer Touches Spreadsheet
Tags #numbers, #budget, #obliviousness, #approval, #disease, #contagious, #managers, #executives, #accuracy, #fantasy
Transcript
CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.
Tuesday January 12,
2016
Charge All Hours To Projects
Tags #logic, #billing, #honesty, #fraud, #money, #time
Transcript
Boss: Make sure you charge 100 percent of your time to project codes. Dilbert: Are you asking us to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill clients? Boss: It's not a crime if you pretend it was an accident. Dilbert: Did you learn that in "flaw" school?
Wednesday January 13,
2016
Charging Client For Thinking
Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost
Transcript
Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Wednesday January 20,
2016
Just A Guy In A Box
Tags #existentialism, #existence, #value, #work, #use, #useful, #change
Transcript
Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.
Sunday January 31,
2016
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic
Transcript
Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.
Wednesday March 23,
2016
Rat With An Ear On His Back
Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday
Transcript
Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."
Wednesday April 20,
2016
The Government Is Listening
Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple
Transcript
Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!
Monday May 02,
2016
Do Not Talk To Ted
Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception
Transcript
Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.