Give Fortune To Charity Comic Strips - Page 67

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

726 Results for Give Fortune To Charity

View 661 - 670 results for give fortune to charity comic strips. Discover the best "Give Fortune To Charity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Totally Painless Brain Removal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Totally Painless Brain Removal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenic, #science, #lab, #pain, #experiment

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Advice. Dogbert: We'll remove your brain and freeze it until your investments are worth a fortune. Man: Does it hurt? Dogbert: Totally painless. Man: Aaaagh! It hurts! Dogbert: Oh. I thought we were talking about me.

Bossercize

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.

Signal To Noise Ratio

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Signal To Noise Ratio  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliments, #backhanded compliment, #criticism, #engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What did you think of my presentation? Dilbert: The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low. Boss: Engineers give weird compliments.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #suggestion, #listening, #conclusions, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.

Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #asok, #coffee maker, #the boss, #artificial intelligence, #bitcoin, #machine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I already regret adding artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. It's withholding coffee until we give it a private office. Asok: Stupid machine! Coffee Maker: That'll cost you a bit coin.

Resending Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resending Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #project, #dead in the water, #requests, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.

Spending The Company's Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spending The Company's Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.

When Will Ted By Done

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Will Ted By Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #data, #ted, #working, #done, #range

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Award For Cutting Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.