Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 67
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1000 Results for Office Buildings
View 661 - 670 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 30,
2018
Tags angry, business, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish the product redesign? Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product. Boss: I don't want any excuses! Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything. Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures. Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do. Boss: You're not doing it right. Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?
Monday December 17,
2018
The Candy Honor System
Tags candy, irritation, office workers, steal, stealing food, office, trust
Transcript
Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.
Tuesday December 18,
2018
Bringing The Outdoors In
Tags desk, excited, nature, office, office workers
Transcript
Dilbert: Something exciting happened at work today. We reconfigured the cubicles, and now I have a partial view of a potted plant. Dogbert: You're happy about seeing half of a potted plant? Dilbert: I call it bringing the outdoors in.
Wednesday December 19,
2018
Soaring With The Eagles
Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, inspiration
Transcript
Boss: The inspirational poster I put in the break room isn't working. I asked around and no one is soaring with the eagles. Catbert: Is the poster defective? Boss: That's the only explanation that makes sense.
Saturday December 22,
2018
Doomed Humanity To Annihilation
Tags aliens, attack, boss, communication, managers & supervisors, mistake, office workers, technology, laser, nasa
Transcript
Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.
Monday December 24,
2018
Ask Ted
Tags employees, insults, office workers, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Man: Do you have the test data? Dilbert: No. Ask Ted. Man: Ted said you have it. Dilbert: I say Ted has it. Man: One of you must dislike me. Dilbert: That's not true. It could be both of us.
Tuesday December 25,
2018
Illegal Plan
Tags business ethics, legal, managers & supervisors, office workers, suspicious
Transcript
Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?
Wednesday December 26,
2018
Boss Has A Vision For The Company
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, office workers, sarcasm, listen
Transcript
Boss: And that's my vision for the company. Dilbert: All you did was list the projects we are already working on while making it sound like astrology. Boss: In my defense, I didn't think any of you were listening.
Thursday December 27,
2018
Working With Old Ned
Tags elderly, men and women, office workers, old
Transcript
Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?
Friday December 28,
2018
Fetching Coffee
Tags elderly, engineering, men and women, office workers
Transcript
Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.

