Before Start Comic Strips - Page 68

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

718 Results for Before Start

View 671 - 680 results for before start comic strips. Discover the best "Before Start" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Forms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

Lower The Price

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lower The Price - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #prices, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

Headphone Claims

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Headphone Claims - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #false, #advertising, #help, #scientist, #boss, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're getting sued for claiming out headphones cure brain tumor and raise your IQ. Boss: We'll need to hire a scientist to back us on this. Dilbert: Where will we find a scientist willing to do that? Boss: Well, I wouldn't start with the rich ones.

Detailed Explanation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Detailed Explanation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: did my detailed explanation answer your question? wally: i started to lose consciousness about fifteen minutes into it, so I thought of other things while you talked, just to stay awake. office worker: i could start over. wally: go ahead. i'll be down the hall if you need me.

Wally Plans His Retirement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

If You Can Dream

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.