Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 68

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Ethics

View 671 - 680 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I want you to write a business case for lobbying our government to attack Elbonia." "In the risk analysis section, do you want me to assume that hell is real or imaginary?" "Real. But remember to discount the infinite future flows of agony to the present so it doesn't look so bad."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, we've been monitoring your Internet usage." "You've been running a side business on eBay, selling our office supplies." "Well, I guess empowerment turned out to be a bunch of blah, blah, blah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, insurance, luck, sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: Our hazard coverage is second to none! The Boss: Don't flee down the stairwell.The steps are made of asbestos.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the tech writer "I'm starting my own blog!" "Dear god, no!" "Every day I will record my personal thoughts about our business." "I need you to write the first one by noon. I can't wait to see what I'm thinking."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Did you get all of the department heads to sign off on our business plan?" "No, they prefer to see us fail so they look good in comparison and there's more money in the budget for them." "How can we speed up this process?" "I'm failing as fast as I can."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, go fatser, set tone, control, opinions are treason, name calling, intimidation, corporations, little guy, meeting, tone of intimidation, condescending, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags passion for job, ceo's visit, meeting, condescending, rented mules, intimidate, corproartions, afford luxury items, ping pong table, no raise, offend, belitte, pay dosparity, slavery, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Visit CEO: "It's important that you have a passion for your job." "For example, my passion involves working you like rented mules so I can afford to purchase luxury items." "I bought a ping-pong table with the raise you didn't get."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags charge your time, appropriate code, unfunded, time codes, falsify report, no projects funded, meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Remember to charge your time to the appropriate project code." "Unless your project is unfunded, in which case the time codes won't work and you'll need to falsify your time report." Alice: "Are any of our projects funded?" The Boss: "This is the embarrassing part."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, new policy, no d drinking coffee, remove all doubt, policies, evil, honesty, ruining the moment, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, evil director of human resources Catbert: "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." Dilbert: "Your honesty is refreshing." Catbert: "Stop ruining the moment!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baby cio, meeting, diapers, nature calls, big words, very advanced, baby, infany, genius, smart, talks, business

View Transcript

Transcript

ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?