Actually A Woman Comic Strips - Page 68

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

724 Results for Actually A Woman

View 671 - 680 results for actually a woman comic strips. Discover the best "Actually A Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Body Doubles Are People Too

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Body Doubles Are People Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit man, #murder, #mistaken identity, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Cop: Asok, you are under arrest for murdering the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: That's not fair! It wasn't even a real person! It was a body double! Cop: Actually, body doubles are human beings, too. Asok: You're going to arrest me on a technicality?

Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #ruse, #work ethic, #deception, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #delay, #leaving, #schedule, #inconsiderate

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you take a look at the prototype? It keeps crashing. Dilbert: I was just leaving for the day. Woman: It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I came to work early so I could leave early and beat the traffic. Woman: No problem. It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: It's never ten minutes! People always say it will be ten minutes, but it's never ten minutes! I give up! Where is it? Woman: Find it in the lab. I need to leave early to beat the traffic.

Ambitious Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ambitious Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #rude, #honesty, #ambition, #insult, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like ambitious men. Are you ambitious? Dilbert: Not especially. For example, I settled for dating you. Woman: That's a terrible thing to say. Dilbert: You're the one who brought it up.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #cognition, #distraction, #Entertainment, #mindless, #cell phone, #internet, #social media

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?

Cyborg Rumors

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cyborg, #robot, #employees, #replacement, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reality, #simulation, #aliens, #alternate universe, #perception

View Transcript

Transcript

News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.

Threatening Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Threatening Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #threat, #ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.

Fake Email From The Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.