Big Business Comic Strips - Page 68
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
1000 Results for Big Business
View 671 - 680 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 06,
2008
Tags evil director, human resources, mandatory stretch, employee welness, good and flexible, new place, tuck your head, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Thursday October 09,
2008
Tags venture capitalist, solar panel business, cha- ching, negotiate equity
Transcript
Vijay the venture capitalist Dogbert says, "We're going into the solar panel business." Vijay says, "CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" $$ Vijay says, "Pretend you didn't see that when I negotiate my equity."
Saturday October 25,
2008
Tags comments, business plan, hodge podeg, unwarranted optimism, impenetrable fortress, buzzwords
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Can you give me some comments on my business plan?" Wally says, "Sure." Wally says, "Your plan is a hodge-podge of unwarranted optimism encased in an impenetrable fortress of buzzwords." Dilbert says, "Would you like to read it?" Wally says, "There's that unwarranted optimism again."
Monday October 27,
2008
Tags project not sexy, transferring fnding, arouses boss, business school, not covered
Transcript
The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."
Friday October 31,
2008
Tags thank ceo, meeting, wearing costumes, unreliable, moved your cheese, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I'd like to thank our CEO for coming to our meeting." Dilbert says, "You said everyone would be wearing costumes today." Wally says, "I'm unreliable." Dilbert says, "I kind of hate you now." Wally says, "Geez, who moved your cheese?"
Tuesday November 11,
2008
Tags spam filter, rewrote business plan, build an army, indestructible robots, new org chart, microwave
Transcript
Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."
Tuesday November 18,
2008
Tags meeting, message, sleeping, full attention, instant message, asleep, employing heuristics, business
Transcript
The boss: I don't think I have your full attention. Alice: It's Asok's turn to listen. If you say anything useful, he'll send us an instance message. The boss: He's asleep. Alice: He's employing heuristics.
Wednesday November 19,
2008
Tags headache, laptop, meeting, evil director, human resources, laptops banned, meetings, should crushing boredom, futility headache, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Computer: Laptops are banned from all meetings. The only things that should be in your mind during meetings are soul-crushing boredom and a futility headache. The boss: That's more like it.
Sunday November 23,
2008
Tags apologize for efficiency, apology, how far, meeting, reasonable assumptions, timeline for deployment, vacation, without knowledge of insight, business
Transcript
The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.
Monday November 24,
2008
Tags bacon and eggs, breakfast, breakfast foods, chicken, dead pig, home early, pig, meeting, animals, business
Transcript
The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?


