Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 68
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 671 - 680 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 26,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, senate, judiciary, committee, questioning, interpret, roe versus wade, lying, deny, accusing
Transcript
A senator at a table says into a microphone, "Mister Dogbert, the Senate Judiciary Committee will begin the questioning." The senator asks, "How would you interpret Roe versus Wade?" Dogbert replies, "They're lying. I deny everything." The senator says, "We're not accusing you . . ." Dogbert says, "Hey, I didn't bring it up!"
Wednesday November 27,
1991
Tags Dogbert, privacy, Dilbert, supreme court, nomination, hearings, opinions, Right, life, idiots
Transcript
At Dogbert's nomination hearings, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Dogbert, "Do you have any opinions on the right to privacy?" Dogbert replies, "No. In fact, I've never formed an important opinion in my entire life." The senator says, "You must think we're idiots." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I've formed ONE opinion . . . But that's all."
Thursday November 28,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, confirmation, hearing, supreme court, senator, starve, death, downside
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert's confirmation hearing on television. A voice says, "The senator has 34 seconds . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I wonder what would happen if you let them talk as long as they wanted." Dilbert thinks, "I'll bet they'd starve to death. But there's probably a downside."
Friday November 29,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, ratbert, confirmation, hearing, supreme court, character, witness, nominee, hiney, news, liar, nuts
Transcript
At Dogbert's confirmation hearing, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Ratbert, "Mister Ratbert, you've been called as a character witness." Ratbert says, "The nominee once called me a little hiney . . ." A picture of Ratbert appears on the front page of a newspaper. The headlines say "Liar!" and "Probably Nuts!!"
Saturday November 30,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, confirmed, supreme court, improper, goal, conquering, world, enslaving, humans, withdrew, unwritten, rules
Transcript
A member of the Senate Judiciary Committee says, "Mister Dogbert, do you realize that if confirmed for the Supreme Court . . ." The senator continues, "It would be improper to pursue your stated goal of conquering the world and enslaving all humans?" The senator next to him is asleep and snoring. Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert asks, "You withdrew?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently there are all these 'unwritten' rules."
Monday December 02,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, coworker, the boss, zimbu, monkey, zoo, keepers, special, program, insult, intelligence, workers
Transcript
The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"
Friday December 06,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, electric, razor, burn, face, joke, toaster, shave, problem
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Saturday December 07,
1991
Tags autumn, Dogbert, night, Dilbert, eyes, moon, mystery, magic, lips, earthworms, hideous, red, sidewalk, rain, storm, home, kiss, worms
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a couch holding hands with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your eyes are like the moon on an autumn night, full of mystery and magic." Dilbert continues, "Your lips are like earthworms, painted a hideous red and caught on the sidewalk during a rainstorm." Dilbert arrives at home with bruises on his face and broken glasses. Dogbert asks, "Home early?" Dilbert replies, "At least I didn't have to kiss the worms."
Tuesday December 10,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, nostradogbert, prophet, monkey, skeptically, great, doubt
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock wearing a turban. Dogbert says, "I've changed my name to Nostradogbert the Prophet." Dogbert continues, "Nostradogbert predicts that a monkey shall speak skeptically of the great." Dilbert replies, "That's ridiculous." Dogbert says, "One-for-one so far." Dilbert says, "I doubt it."
Wednesday December 11,
1991
Tags Dogbert, sarcasm, nostradogbert, turmoil, middle east, ratbert, limb, sand
Transcript
Dogbert, who is wearing a turban, says to Ratbert, "Nostradogbert predicts there will be turmoil in the Middle East." Ratbert replies, "Wow! That's quite a prediction! You're really going out on a limb!" Dogbert asks, "Is that sarcasm? I can't tell with you." Ratbert asks, "Will there be any sand involved?"


