Work Comic Strips - Page 68
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1000 Results for Work
View 671 - 680 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 28,
2003
Tags hired wife, mean, condescending, slave driver, obnoxious
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired my wife to be our new receptionist." Boss: "I foresee no problems whatsoever." Wife: "Hey, Dipweed!" "Go buy me a bagel and a cappuccino." "Then wash my car and fill the gas tank." "NOW DANCE FOR ME, LITTLE MAN! HA HA! DANCE OR I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED!!!" "How may I help you? Have a nice day!" The boss: "Stop dancing in the lobby. My wife is trying to work."
Monday January 05,
2004
Tags trick, paper, look busy, paper trick, hallways, wander, office, appearences, rest, avoid work
Transcript
"It looks like an ordinary piece of paper, but I added this finger holder." "Now when I wander the hallways looking busy I can totally rest my hand." "Working hard?" "Not any more!"
Wednesday January 07,
2004
Tags stolen computer, boss takes, employee, work, unjust
Transcript
The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.
Sunday January 11,
2004
Tags internet security, hole in inetrnet, work 24/7, network management, buck passer
Transcript
Dilbert: "I discovered a hole in our internet security." The Boss: "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" Dilbert: "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." The boss: "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management group." THE BOSS: "PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!!!" DILBERT: "Forget it! There's no hole! It got better!" THE BOSS: "That's more like it." THE BOSS: "I fixed the internet."
Friday January 16,
2004
Tags airplane, flight, seats, no room, sleep, six hour flight, recline seat, sleeper, health
Transcript
Dilbert: Six - hour flight. I can get lots of work done, Six hour flight. I can get lost of sleep. Dilbert: I can't feel my hands!!!
Sunday January 25,
2004
Tags ceo, worer, 40 million a year, 400 x worker pay, salary, disparity, golden egg, every ten minutes, money
Transcript
The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."
Saturday January 31,
2004
Tags risk, pr plan, karma, extra fee, infinite fabric, britney spear, hairstly, back hair
Transcript
"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"
Tuesday February 03,
2004
Tags menagerlike work, criticize, reorganize, key board, hot slef, noredom, offcie, re organizing
Transcript
The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.
Wednesday February 11,
2004
Tags new wireless hassock prodcut, sales people, work in teams, wear e;ectroshock, close the deal
Transcript
The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"
Tuesday February 17,
2004
Tags pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, fully funded, amzing, free from bureaucracy, bean bag charis
Transcript
DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."


