No Way Comic Strips - Page 68
691 Results for No Way
View 671 - 680 results for no way comic strips. Discover the best "No Way" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 20, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. Dilbert asks the doctor, "How's it look, Doc?" The doctor examines an X-ray and says, "You came just in time." The physician explains, "I'm way behind in my alimony payments. I'll have to do some unnecessary surgery on you." The doctor continues, "You have a fair number of redundant organs." The doctor continues, "Two lungs . . . Two kidneys . . . Large AND small intestines . . ." Dilbert looks scared. The doctor says, "And I'm sure you aren't taking full advantage of your pancreas." Dilbert faints. The doctor looks at the reader and says, "I find that humor helps my patients relax."
Share May 06, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."
Share April 18, 1990's comic on:
The caption says, "After tugging a loose thread on his shirt . . ." Dilbert's head is missing. Dilbert kneels on the ground in front of Dogbert and says, "Do something." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . Head got sucked into torso, huh?" Dogbert continues, "I'll try flattery . . . Your head will expand and pop right out . . ." Later, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, ". . . And you are superior to mollusks in every way but looks . . ." Dilbert says, "I felt something that time."
Share March 29, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "When I was a kid I threw spitballs at girls to show I liked them." Dilbert continues, "Now I just grovel and beg for dates." Dilbert concludes, "Frankly, the old way was more satisfying."
Share February 07, 1990's comic on:
Bob the Dinosaur, Dawn the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the floor. Bob says, "We'll kick off the dinosaur comeback tour by singing 'My Way.'" Bob continues, "Then we'll break the instruments, wade into the crowd and bite the head off somebody in the front row!" Dogbert replies, "'Ozzy Osbourne' already did that."
Share February 05, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."
Share January 25, 1990's comic on:
A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."
Share January 18, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk and says, "Okay, class . . . Put your weapons away and open your TV Guides." Dogbert continues, "Timmy, please read aloud the passage from 'Falcon Crest' under the Friday listings." Dogbert thinks, "There's got to be a better way to teach sex education."
Share November 25, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I've been considering acupuncture as a way to relieve stress." Dogbert asks, "The theory here is that sticking large needles into your body will help you relax?" Dilbert replies, "It sounds silly when YOU say it." Dogbert says, "Sometimes sarcasm helps us think more clearly."
Share November 15, 1989's comic on:
The caption says, "Dogbert continues his reckless experiment with the powerful force of 'affirmations.'" Dilbert watches Dogbert write on a piece of paper and asks, ". . . What if this actually works?" Dilbert asks, "Can you really cause me to be eaten by a garden slug just by writing it down over and over?" Dilbert continues, "What am I saying? Logically, there's no way this could work." Dogbert says, "Don't get too far from salt."