All Over The Map Comic Strips - Page 68
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677 Results for All Over The Map
View 671 - 677 results for all over the map comic strips. Discover the best "All Over The Map" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 19,
2021
Mask During Zoom
Tags #business, #covid-19, #video conference, #call, #laptop, #mask, #working at home, #work, #science, #study, #deny, #video call, #virus
Transcript
dilbert in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: i'd feel more comfortable if you wore a mask for this call. dilbert: i'm working at home. i can't possibly give you a virus over a video call. voice from laptop: show me a study that proves that or else stop denying science. Dilbert: um...
Thursday March 25,
2021
Yay, A Package
Tags #package, #arrived, #consumer, #amazon, #purchase, #birthday, #feel, #forgetfulness, #dish soap
Transcript
Dilbert opening front door at home: yay! my package arrived! i buy one thing per day from amazon and then forget what i ordered, so it feels like my birthday every day. dogbert with hands over eyes: i can't watch this. yes! dish soap! how did i know i wanted that?
Saturday April 03,
2021
Only One Thing Ceo Can Do
Tags #business ethics, #business, #press, #subordinates, #inapproriate, #behavior, #quit, #murder, #correct
Transcript
ceo: the press is all over me because seventy-three subordinates accused me of inappropriate behavior. there's only one thing i can do. boss: quit. ceo thinking: now i know who to murder to divert the press. boss: am i right?
Sunday May 02,
2021
Remote Workers Do Not Mate
Tags #appearance, #dating, #love & dating, #walking, #outdoors, #dating app, #woman, #app, #reproduction, #inner qualities, #goodbye, #genes
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.
Sunday June 06,
2021
Anonymous Sources
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources
Transcript
boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.