No Way Comic Strips - Page 68

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

680 Results for No Way

View 671 - 680 results for no way comic strips. Discover the best "No Way" comics from Dilbert.com.

Be More Like Alice

Thank you for voting.
Be More Like Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #complain, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Bad Denials

Thank you for voting.
Bad Denials - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #elbonia

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.

Blinking Tell

Thank you for voting.
Blinking Tell - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i didn't believe you were a spy for the elbonian government until you denied it the wrong way. the boss: you were slow to speak, and you blinked. dilbert: that isn't evidence of anything. the boss yelling: you blinked again!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #message, #office, #squirrels

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: ...and then i need you to... notification sound from dilbert's phone. the boss: don't do it. don't check that message. dilbert: but it might be important. the boss: it isn't more important than listening to your boss. dilbert: i have no way of knowing that. dilbert yelling: look! there's a squirrel on the printer! the boss turns around: i don't see a squirrel. the boss: did you check your phone? dilbert: was i suppose to just sit here and watch you looking for squirrels?

Beg And Pay Store

Thank you for voting.
Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!

Encouraging Smoking

Thank you for voting.
Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

Phone Is More Interesting

Thank you for voting.
Phone Is More Interesting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #criticism, #date, #dinner, #Entertainment, #men and women, #texting, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I just realized I enjoy using my phone more than I enjoy interacting with you. I mean, this thing is amazing, whereas you haven't found a way to entertain me all night. Dilbert: Maybe I'll grow on you. Tina: "Now he sounds like a tumor. LOl!"

When Can You Meet

Thank you for voting.
When Can You Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meetings, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when can you meet tomorrow? alice: anytime. dilbert: how about 2 pm? alice: no, that doesn't work. dilbert: i guess we're going to do this the hard way.