Office Plants Comic Strips - Page 68

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838 Results for Office Plants

View 671 - 680 results for office plants comic strips. Discover the best "Office Plants" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #insults, #office, #office workers, #people, #sarcasm, #introvert, #coworkers

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Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees

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Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #avoidance, #irritation, #lunch, #office workers, #relationships, #coworkers

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Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

Very Smart Phd

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Very Smart Phd - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #education, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Man: Hi. I'm very smart, but I don't know how to do anything. Dilbert: Where did you get your PH.D.? Man: I didn't say I have a PH.D. Dilbert: You kinda did.

No Recognisiton

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No Recognisiton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations

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Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers

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Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.

Documents On Chairs

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Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.

New Forms

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New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency

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Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

Best Product

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Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

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Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Tweaking Variables

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Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #stupidity

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Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.