Project Requiremnets Comic Strips - Page 68

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

679 Results for Project Requiremnets

View 671 - 679 results for project requiremnets comic strips. Discover the best "Project Requiremnets" comics from Dilbert.com.

Virus Hellscape

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus Hellscape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #diseases, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.

View more books now

Emergency Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Emergency Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #boss, #emergency, #excuses, #office workers, #technology, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.

Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #team

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.

Business Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #lying, #context, #important, #acceptable, #sick, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Motivosity Bucks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Motivosity Bucks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #working, #weekend, #employment, #bucks, #money, #motivosity

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: thanks for working all weekend to get the project done, dilbert. i award you two motivosity bucks. dilbert: i like real money better. boss: that just cost you two motivosity bucks.

Focus Or Spread

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Focus Or Spread - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #focus, #project, #expense, #business, #employment, #low quality, #work, #magic, #attention, #technology, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you prefer that i focus on one of my projects at the expense of all the others... or should i spread my attention across all of my projects and do low-quality work on all of them? and your answer cannot involve magic. boss: can i hear the choices again.

Boss Isn't Fair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Million Dollar Bonuses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #deadline, #project, #million-dollar, #recommendation, #lying, #clock, #weeks, #spirit, #bonus, #mad, #finished, #no, #laptop, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

Wally Helps The New Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit