Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 68

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View 671 - 680 results for secretaries (office) comic strips. Discover the best "Secretaries (Office)" comics from Dilbert.com.

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags aliens, attack, boss, communication, managers & supervisors, mistake, office workers, technology, laser, nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Ask Ted

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Ask Ted  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, insults, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Man: Do you have the test data? Dilbert: No. Ask Ted. Man: Ted said you have it. Dilbert: I say Ted has it. Man: One of you must dislike me. Dilbert: That's not true. It could be both of us.

Illegal Plan

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Illegal Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, legal, managers & supervisors, office workers, suspicious

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Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?

Boss Has A Vision For The Company

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Boss Has A Vision For The Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, office workers, sarcasm, listen

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Boss: And that's my vision for the company. Dilbert: All you did was list the projects we are already working on while making it sound like astrology. Boss: In my defense, I didn't think any of you were listening.

Working With Old Ned

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Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elderly, men and women, office workers, old

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Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?

Fetching Coffee

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Fetching Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elderly, engineering, men and women, office workers

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Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

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Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, office workers, punishment, threat

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Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Boxes With Names

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Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff

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Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

No Raise For Dilbert

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No Raise For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, work, salary

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Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?

Twizzle The Flurm

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Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confused, employees, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.