Turn Down Comic Strips - Page 68

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

736 Results for Turn Down

View 671 - 680 results for turn-down comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, obliviousness, future, psychic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do these cost estimates include everything? Dilbert: Yes, because I know what happens in the future. I didn't think I could accurately predict the future until you trusted me to put this budget together. I thought there were too many variables to know how things will turn out. But I defer to your superior opinion. Wait... I'm getting another message from the future. It says to raise the software budget by nine dollars. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Dilbert: Of course it does. Trust your instincts.

No Walking Away

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, policy, conversation, ideas, management, strategy, politeness, etiquette, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

Honest Opinion But Polite

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Honest Opinion But Polite - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, political correctness, politically correct, company policy, honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new politeness policy forbids me from giving you an honest opinion of your idea. So, instead, I will talk about an unrelated topic and you can draw your own conclusions. So... did you hear about the manure fire that burned down a pig farm?

Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automation, cyborg, technology, work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.

Wally Has A Doctor's Note

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has A Doctor's Note  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sleep, boredom, meeting, laziness, narcolepsy, health, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Here's a doctor's note saying I have a chronic case of meeting narcolepsy. Boss: Sit down. We need to talk about this. Wally: ZZZZZZ.

75 Slides Too Long

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
75 Slides Too Long  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, presentation, length, brevity, powerpoint

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.

Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.

Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reality, virtual reality, vr, sanity, hallucination, fantasy, imagination, therapy, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We hired an immersive VR employee and it's freaking me out. I can only see him when I wear my VR goggles. I feel as if he's always watching me. Doctor: Sounds like you're crazy. I can fix that with a prescription cocktail that will turn you into an entirely new person. Kevin: Run.

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writing, criticism, technical writer, warning, caution, safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.

Product Warning Is Too Long

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Product Warning Is Too Long - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technical writer, instructions, caution, warning, safety, criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.