Business People Comic Strips - Page 69

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business People

View 681 - 690 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business panics, worry, hackers, firewall, escape pod, firwall

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got through our firewall. CEO: Launch escape pod! Two questions: What is a firewall? And who designed my escape pod?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, frustration, idea, never work, reject hypothesis, self doubt

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, questioning, meeting, questions, blabbing, interuptions, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Um... may I ask one... Man: Blah, blah, blah, blah... Dilbert: I'm begging you. Let me ask... Man: Blah, blah, blah, blah... Boss: You need to participate more in meetings.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, inefficiencies, kaizen team, soultions, busy, being ineffcient, ignorance, aggressive type of objectivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I noticed some inefficiencies in another department, so I formed a Kaizen team to find solutions. I asked some of the peopl in that department to be on the team, but they were busy being inefficient. With any luck, my ignorance of their function will be seen as an aggressive type of objectivity.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, work ethic, worry, indispensible, fired, useless, riskier, toe clip, 20 years of service

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, gloating, quit working, won lotery, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crimes, internet & world wide web, black hat, websites ranking, search engine, unethical, near certainty, loserish, talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gadgets, mobile (cell) phones, new phone, recommendations, dropped calls, poor battery life, hate the messenger, build phones

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, walkways, minute, meeting, walk and talk, barely concentrate, prove underling wrong, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, frustration, implications, offend by complimenting, rational

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You offended me when you said Ted did a great job. It implied that I'm important. Dilbert: Are you saying I can offend you by complimenting other people? Tina: Exactly. Dilbert: Wally, you're very rational today. Wally: Thank you!