How To Comic Strips - Page 69
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1000 Results for How To
View 681 - 690 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 26,
2000
Tags plan, agreement, happy, cheers, inspiring
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Alice, "...And that's the plan." Wally yells, "Yippee!" Alice screams, "Woo-ha!!" The Boss thinks to himself, "I'm very inspiring lately." As Alice and Wally walk away, Alice says to Wally "How did people survive meetings before these things?" Wally replies, "Webvlan split!"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday June 28,
2000
Tags loofah, new company concierge, personal, any errand
Transcript
The Boss says to his staff, "Ratbert is our new company concierge." Ratbert says, "I will perform any errand, no matter how personal or degrading it is." One employee says to Ratbert, "I need a loofah." Ratbert replies, "Lather me up!"
Thursday June 29,
2000
Tags any errand, date women, film, movies, ratbert, thinks wally is hot, Entertainment
Transcript
Ratbert the Concierge Wally: Id like a date with a woman who thinks Im hot. Remember, you promised you would do any errand for employees. Tell me again how hot I am.
Wednesday July 26,
2000
Tags three days, repair guy, under desk, uninvited, feeds licorice, animals, feed animals, i.s. people
Transcript
Wally asks Noriko, "How long has he been under your desk?" Noriko replies, "Three days." Wallys asks Noriko, "Did you feed him?" Noriko answers, "Just some licorice." Wally says to Noriko, "You should never feed the I.S. people." The I.S. employee responds, "More licorice!"
Thursday August 03,
2000
Tags internal clients, tracking, fake bills, helpful
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."
Monday August 21,
2000
Tags boss, hired you, response, ignore chain letters, few more apllcants, in basket
Transcript
Handing the candidate a sheet of paper the Boss asks, "If I hired you how would you respond to something like this?" The candidate reads the paper and replies, "I usully ignore chain letters." The Boss says, "Let's try another." Carol asks the Boss, "Did you finish your in-basket?" The Boss answers, "No, I'll need a few more applicants?
Saturday September 09,
2000
Tags work for losers, commits deadline, winners, respect me less
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Work is for losers." Dogbert continues, "A winner says, 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Wouldn't people respect me less?" Dogbert replies, "I don't see how."
Wednesday September 20,
2000
Tags escalate, escalator, marketing guys, misunderstands, need to escalate, goes to store
Transcript
Alice says to the Boss, "The marketing guys are stalling. You need to ecalate." The Boss leaves his office thinking to himself, "Must escalate." The Boss is in a department store riding an escalator, thinking to himself "I'll never understand how this helps."
Friday September 22,
2000
Tags doomed projects, fake mergencies, more efficient, unnecessary meetings, to do list
Transcript
Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."
Saturday October 14,
2000
Tags 300 times, coffee, Funny, jokes, not funny, sugar
Transcript
Wally and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice is putting packets of sugar in her coffee. Wally says, "Why don't you have a little coffee with your sugar, Alice?" Wally continues, "Heh, heh. It's funny because it's ususally the other way around." Wally, alone, thinks, "I don't see how something can be funny 300 times but 301 times."

