Technology Comic Strips - Page 69

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803 Results for Technology

View 681 - 690 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Working From Home

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Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, distractions, estimate, family issues, ipad, video conferencing, yelling, zoom, technology

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dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate? employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you! dilbert: how do you like working at home? employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Lucky Profits

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Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, business, compensation, executive, managers & supervisors, pandemic, sarcasm, technology, video conferencing, zoom, luck

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catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Training Kicked In

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Training Kicked In  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bathroom, boring, business, face mask, meeting, sarcasm, technology, training, coffee

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wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.

First Astronaut

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First Astronaut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags astronaut, business, coffee, division, face mask, honor, question, safety, space, technology, test, mars

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carol: our space division asked if you would accept the honor of being their first astronaut to mars. boss: i didn't know they had even tested it for safety yet. carol: he asked too many questions.

Nothing Is Totally Safe

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Nothing Is Totally Safe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, test, reality, blame, face mask

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boss: have you tested everything to make sure it is 100% safe? dilbert: nothing is 100% safe. we don't live in that kind of reality. but i'll bet you want me to say it anyway. boss: it's more about the blame later.

Lover Not A Fighter

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Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, software, price, lover, fighter, report, human resources, bully, sexual discrimination

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dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.

Cushion In Schedule

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Cushion In Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, weekend, work, deadline, due date, schedule, input, critical, liar, credibility, exaggerate

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dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.

Satellite Launch

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Satellite Launch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags satellite, launch, radar, alien, spaceship, systems, technology, reality, suggestion, rocket, trajectory, bird, belgium

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dilbert in control room with others: we've triple-checked all systems, and we are ready to launch the satellite. nothing can go wrong. initiating launch. boss: nothing can go wrong? what if an alien spaceship appears over the launch site? dilbert: gaaa!!! don't jinx us. boss: that's not how reality works. i can't make things happen just by suggesting them. dilbert: you're wrong! that is exactly how reality works! wa;;y: something just appeared on radar directly above the rockets trajectory. boss: maybe it's a bird. wally: it's the size of belgium.

A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong

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A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, correct, friends, mistakes, sarcasm, technology, watch, wrong

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dilbert: i have a feeling you are doing something wrong, but i don't know what. do you mind if i watch over your shoulder and look for mistakes as you make them? coworker: you don't have friends, do you? dilbert: i like to travel light.