Company Comic Strips - Page 69

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

879 Results for Company

View 681 - 690 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emergency, lostphone, company id, keys, critical folder, self generated crisi, dead battery, small brown purse

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Emergency! I can't find my phone and I"m late for a customer meeting. Dilbert: Maybe it's with your company I.D. badge that you had to drive all the way home for this morning. Alice: It might be with your keys that you lost after lunch. Dilbert: Maybe it's under that critical folder that you couldn't find before your last meeting. Alice: Maybe it's wherever you created your last self-generated crisis. Coworker: I just remembered I put my phone in my purse because the battery is dead. Has anyone seen a small, brown purse?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, meetings, new team, company change startegy, meetings turn awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, wages, saved company millions, no bonus, ceo plans, 500 million, acquisitions, go team, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, screen savers, company logo, corporate rule, agenda, meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, ad company, deceptive and abusive, mobile app, crying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired the Dogbert Ad Company to build some deceptive and abusive ads for our mobile app. Dogbert: I prefer to call our ads "effective." It means the same thing. Our most effective ad looks like a text message from your doctor saying he can't stop crying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, managers & supervisors, reorganizing, overthinking, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm reorganizing the company and giving every manager a new job. Boss: Why? CEO: You're over-thinking it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dress cassually, drive innovation, flex hours, frustration, optimism, start up culture, valued work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags online (web) news, news manufaturer, online media, misleading headlines, snarky bow, news naturally, engineer, news magic, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questioning, ceo, lawyer, salespeople, psychopathy, disembowle, rhetorical, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You might be wondering why I called this meeting. Dilbert: Well, I see a CEO, a company lawyer, and two salespeople. Those jobs are highly correlated with psychopathy. My guess is that you invited me here to disembowel me. CEO: It was rhetorical!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alcoholic beverages, boardwalk empire, degenerated, experince, forklift jousting, free beer, fridays, team building

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company will no longer offer free beer on Fridays. It started as a team-building experience, but it degenerated into forklift jousting in the warehouse. Wally: I'm going all "Boardwalk Empire" on you now, Volstead! Boss: I hope that means something good.