Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 69
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Character
701 Results for Lying Down
View 681 - 690 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 01,
2020
Cooties Contact Tracing
Tags 2 weeks, contact, cooties, doctor, doctors' offices, infect, physical, tracing, Women, zero
Transcript
doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.
Sunday August 30,
2020
Not A Monopoly
Tags managers & supervisors, senior managment, ceo, government, monopoly, product, essential, modern, life, competition, company, compete, buy out, fail, face mask
Transcript
ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.
Sunday September 06,
2020
Authority On Your Opinion
Tags business, office workers, disagreements, Opinion, sarcasm, change, debate, authority, hallucinating, lying, stupid, gaslight, insult, face mask
Transcript
co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.
Wednesday September 23,
2020
Business Lying
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, lying, context, important, acceptable, sick, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.
Thursday September 24,
2020
Tina's Soul
Tags business, business ethics, laptop computer, project, team, lying, garbage, insult, soul, conscience, face mask
Transcript
tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.
Sunday October 04,
2020
Golden Age For Wally
Tags 6 feet, avoid, coffee, eye contact, face mask, grocery shopping, office workers, social distancing, upgrade, Women
Transcript
wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.
Wednesday October 07,
2020
Everyone But Ted
Tags business, project, success, thank, twice, hear, slow, coffee, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.
Friday November 13,
2020
Climate Change And Wally
Tags business, late, attendance, alarm, power, phone, coal power plant, climate change
Transcript
wally to boss and dilbert: sorry i'm late. my alarm didn't go off because my town lost power and my phone battery died. and we lost power because the state closed down the lost coal power plant to reduce co2 emissions. so really, the fault lies with climate change, not me. dilbert: (slow clap)
Thursday November 19,
2020
Dilbert Not On Mute
Tags business, meetings, video conference, zoom, time-wasting, fool, mute
Transcript
Dilbert on a video conference call and voices coming from laptop" We've been going for two hours, so let's wrap up... i have a new topic... dilbert: Gaaa!!! why is there always on time-wasting fool on every zoom call??? why? why? voice from laptop: dilbert, you're not on mute. dilbert: oh. did you hear my tv? i'll turn it down.
Thursday December 24,
2020
Wally Does Three Jobs
Tags business, money, fortune, employer, employment, working from home, job, manage, expectations, people
Transcript
wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.

