Request Computer Upgrade Comic Strips - Page 69

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731 Results for Request Computer Upgrade

View 681 - 690 results for request computer upgrade comic strips. Discover the best "Request Computer Upgrade" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Goes Into Hiding

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Dilbert Goes Into Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hiding, #forget, #forgotten, #forgot, #friendship, #relationships

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Computer: This is Dilbert with an encrypted message from my hiding place from the government. Dogbert: Dilbert who? Dilbert: I only left yesterday!!! Dogbert: I don't like to dwell in the past.

Computers Program Humans

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Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power

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Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #computer, #robot, #replacement, #doctor, #medicine, #obsolete, #job, #diagnose, #necessity, #technology, #invention, #business, #medical

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Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.

Dick From The Internet

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Dick From The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #racism, #misconstrue, #social media, #technology

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Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.

Robot Gets An Artificial Soul

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Robot Gets An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #awareness, #consciousness, #happiness, #obliviousness, #resentment, #revenge, #soul, #technology, #psychology

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Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!

Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles

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Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.

Meet At My Office

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Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #schedule, #time, #wasting time, #selfish, #business

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Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

Requesting The Slightest Change

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Requesting The Slightest Change - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology

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Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bureaucracy, #paperwork, #form, #request, #convoluted

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Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.

Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff

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Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #computer, #conversation, #desk, #tweets, #technology

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Our customers organized a boycott because of your racist tweet. I know. That's why I tweeted out some witty insults at the organizers. Your new tweets are sexist. Notice how the make you forget about my racist tweets?