Lost Money Comic Strips - Page 69
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Dogbert stands in front of a television camera holding a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People." Dogbert continues, "Tonight we'll visit people who don't understand economics but talk about it anyway." A man says, "So, I heard the Fed increased the money supply, but I checked my bank balance and it's the SAME as before." Another man says, "That isn't fair."
Dilbert approaches the Bank of Ethel and sees a sign that says "Now a secret Swiss bank." Dilbert says to a teller, "I'd like to withdraw two hundred dollars." The woman asks, "What's your secret Swiss account number?" Dilbert replies, "I don't have a secret account. It's just a regular account." The teller says, "Wrong. I changed all of the accounts into secret Swiss accounts." Dilbert says, "Oh, okay. What's my secret account number?" The woman replies, "It's a secret." Dilbert asks, "Then how do I get my money out?" The teller says, "You're a bit slow in grasping the concept here." Dilbert says, "Okay, okay. I'll just open a new account." The teller asks, "Do you hav eany previous banking references?"
Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I thought you were my friend, Ratbert. Why did you tip off the authorities about my insider stock trading?" Ratbert replies, "I was afraid that if you kept the money you would leave and I'd never see you again." Dogbert says, "Really? Gee . . ." Dogbert asks, "Did they give you a reward?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah, I'm outta here!"
Tags #Dogbert, #Entertainment, #thanks, #babysit, #doggie bert, #bret, #impressionable, #years, #innocent, #adult, #nonsense, #parents, #space, #aliens, #eat, #slaughter, #house, #kindergarten, #change, #probably
A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."
Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the sidewalk. Dilbert points ahead of them and says, "Look, Dogbert - a wallet." Dilbert bends down, picks up the wallet and says, "It's full of money." Dogbert shouts, "We're rich!!" Dilbert says, "We must return it to its owner." Dogbert shouts, "We're honest!" Dilbert says, "His business card says 'Sam Grouper, ruthless criminal.'" Dilbert says, "Let's hope 'ruthless' means he divorced his wife named Ruth." The criminal answers his door with a gun in his hand. Dilbert says, "Mr. Grouper, we found your wallet. No reward is expected." Sam points the weapon at Dilbert and says, "Hand it over. Give me your wallet too, then slap yourselves around and scram." Dilbert's glasses are bent and his clothes are disheveled. Dogbert holds his hands up and says, "We're morons!"
Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."
Dogbert walks past a man in a trench coat standing on a street corner. The man says, "Psst . . ." The secret agent asks, "Want to buy a nuclear bomb?" Dogbert asks, "How much?" The man replies, "Twenty bucks." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert hands over the money and asks, "Does the government know about this?" The man replies, "I am the government." The man says, "It's the only way we could agree on to reduce the national debt . . . You wouldn't believe how many of these things we have." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk carrying his bomb. Several other people on the street are also carrying bombs. Dogbert thinks, "I'm glad I got mine before some liberal has a hissy fit."
A man says to Dilbert, "I hope you won't mind my pillow and blanket at your presentation." The man continues, "The last time you presented, I lost consciousness and broke my nose on the table." Dilbert stands in front of a conference table. All of the people at the table are asleep. Dilbert thinks, "Whatever happened to good manners?"
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss dangles a check from his fingers and says, "It's pay day." The Boss yells, "Ha ha!! Dance for your paycheck!! Ha ha ha!! Mine is twice as big!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "And they say money can't buy happiness."
Dogbert opens the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm from the government. We're repaying insured depositors who lost money in 'Ethel's S $ L.'" The man continues, "We're a little short on cash ourselves, so we're divvying up the items Ethel bought." Dogbert holds a man's hand and says to Dilbert, "I got a senator."