Job Comic Strips - Page 69

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

936 Results for Job

View 681 - 690 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, job, work, scheme, guessing, cruel, mean, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Ted, your new responsibility is to keep the pigeons from defiling our ledges." Ted says, "Are you hoping this awful assignment will cause me to quit?" The boss says, "Not at all." Ted says, "Are you hoping I'll fall out a window?" The boss says, "Maybe you should stop guessing now,"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telling, confused, relinquish, change, excuses, reasoning

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags orders, job, elbonia, training, lonely, uncomfortable, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to go to Elbonia and do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." Dilbert says, "Because they?re incompitent?" The boss says, "And lonely." Dilbert says, "I'm not comfortable with this." Elbonian says, "Mud wine?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, review, criticism, ridicule, nervous, frustration, useless

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "It's funny that you're evaluating me." Alice says, "Because I understand how to do your job, but you have no idea how to do my job." Alice says, "For example, right now you're going to say something that doesn't help the stockholders."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, panic, phrase, angry, offended, accusation, awkward, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, we're hosting a forum for human resources executives, and I need you to organize it." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! That will be like trying to herd cats." Catbert says, "What did you just say?" Asok the intern says, "I'm not racist." Catbert says, "Denial is proof!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pay, salary, money, complaining, sub-par, angry, promise, mean, cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, I just learned that your pay is 20% below the industry average for your job." The Boss says, "I will correct this injustice, no matter what it takes!" Tine says, "You would do that for me?" The Boss says, "You have my word that I will lower the industry average!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, bonus, project, explaining, pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "If I do a great job with the pandemic contingency planning, can I have a bonus?" The Boss says, "I won't know if you did a great job unless we actually have a pandemic emergency." Asok says, "So?if there is a pandemic, I might get a bonus?" The boss says, "I don't like where this is heading."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, bidders, cost, invoice, bid, crooked

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "This invoice is for twice as much as your bid." The Man says, "Duh. You wouldn't have given us the job if we told you how much it was really going to cost." Man says, "If it makes you feel any better, all of the other bidders lied too. We're just better at it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoying music, buying deciosn, clutter design, cubicle, eacape, images, look ugly, ne wpordcut, no information, portfolio, stock holders, website, work till death, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, work with Gustav to get our new product explained on our website. Gustav: Heres what I have so far. Dilbert: Its awful. Gustav: excuse me? Dilbert: there no information. Its all images and annoying music. Dilbert: People make buying decisions based on what they read. This gives them nothing, Gustav: If I clutter the design with useful information, it will look ugly ad I won't be able to use it in my portfolio. I need that portfolio to get a job at a better company, Please help me escape. Gustav: You'll probably work here until you die in your cubicle no matter what the website looks like. The Boss: Did you help Gustav? Dilbert: yes, But it wasn't a good day for our stock holders.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags depressed, dilbert and mother, disengaged with son, engage, incompetence, life is a joke, monkeys, talk, work, no punchline, lifeguards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom: How is work Dilbert? Dilbert: Well, mom...I'm like a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair. Incompetence hangs in the air like the cold stench of death. I'm drowning, and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils. My job has convinced me that life is a stale joke with no punch line. I long for the comfort of the grave. Dilmom: Next time just say 'it's fine. Dilbert: I enjoy our talks. Dilmom: It's fine.