Never Listen Comic Strips - Page 69

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688 Results for Never Listen

View 681 - 688 results for never listen comic strips. Discover the best "Never Listen" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Factory Problem

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Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

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dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Goggles Remove Humans

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Goggles Remove Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #goggles, #human, #scenery, #alone, #noise canceling, #headphones, #interaction, #mega, #dork

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dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.

Wally Will Be Right Back

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Wally Will Be Right Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #minute, #desk, #help, #mystery

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tina: do you have a minute to help me? wally: absolutely. i'll be right back after i drop off something at my desk. tina: i'll never see you again, will i? wally: don't take the mystery out of it.

Smartphones Spread Viruses

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Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #hygiene, #science, #contagion, #pandemic, #smartphone, #germs

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Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

Ceo Does Math

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Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #diseases, #earth, #humans, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus

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CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.

Real Data

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Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts

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Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Scooch Over

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Scooch Over - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #business people, #destiny, #no, #people, #ruler, #sarcasm, #superpower

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dilbert talking to dogbert on couch dilbert: i've been saying "no" to people all week, and nothing bad happened to me. why did i never know about this superpower? now i am the ruler of my own destiny! scooch over. dogbert: no.

No Talk About Morale

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 No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic

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dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.