Unimportant Project Comic Strips - Page 69

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View 681 - 690 results for unimportant project comic strips. Discover the best "Unimportant Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Helping Ted

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Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineering, frustration, help, office, office workers

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Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

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Welcome Baskets

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Welcome Baskets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, racism, new employee

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alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.

Bad Planning

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Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, teamwork, team, deadline

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ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.

Employee Engagement

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Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, office, time, engagement

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the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.

Drooling Incompetents

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Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, competent, incompetent

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wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

The New Consultant

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The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, success

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the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

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Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, failure, managers & supervisors, rules, success

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dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

Poor Communication Skills

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Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, questions, projects

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Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Wally Wears Headphones

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Wally Wears Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, irritation, office workers, avoidance, hear, headphones

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Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.

Scourge Of Teamwork

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Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help, insults, office workers, work, teams

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Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.