Cost Money Comic Strips - Page 7

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692 Results for Cost Money

View 61 - 70 results for cost money comic strips. Discover the best "Cost Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Hire Makes More

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New Hire Makes More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #salary, #compensation, #fairness, #negotiation, #confrontation, #money

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Dilbert: I just found out that the new hire makes more than I do. Boss: It isn't my fault that you're a terrible negotiator. Dilbert: I don't like confrontation. Boss: I know. It saves me a lot of money. Shoo!

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

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Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

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Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

Tina Gives Buy In

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Tina Gives Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #money, #price, #cost, #value

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Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

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Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

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Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper

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Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.

Wally Accepts Bribes

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Wally Accepts Bribes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bribe, #bribery, #money, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: I started accepting bribes from co-workers to incent me to do my job. Dilbert: If it didn't work for your employer, why do they think it will work for them? Wally: Something about optimism. Dilbert: They didn't say why? Wally: All I know is that no one paid me to listen to them.

Bribing Wally

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Bribing Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?

Tina Wants Warmer Temperature

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Tina Wants Warmer Temperature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #thermostat, #temperature, #deal, #negotiation, #cold, #bribe

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Wally: My cubicle is near the thermostat and your desk has the est view of our boss' office. I'll see that you get the temperature you want if you warn me whenever our boss is on the move. Tina: Can you give me 76 degrees? Wally: Whoa! That'll cost you extra, Lucifer.

Weak Sales Reorg

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Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business

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Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.