Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 7

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385 Results for Sales Person

View 61 - 70 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #big business, #competition (psychology), #bad ads, #increase sales, #competitors, #running ads, #increases ads, #strategic incompetence, #luck

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Coworker: Our ads are so bad that they increase sales for our competitors. Boss: Try running ads for our competitors and see if it increases our sales. Dilbert: Strategic incompetence? Boss: I didn't get this far by luck!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #lying, #non disclosure agreement, #disbelief, #wrong person, #mighty judgy, #so many secrets

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Man: I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we start. Wally: We don't need that because no one believes a word I say anyway. Man: Maybe I'm meeting with the wrong person. Wally: You're mighty judgy for a guy with so many secrets.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #thinking, #product ideas, #billion dollar ideas, #unwilling, #corporation, #dumb person idea, #pretend, #drone that attacks, #wooden screen phone

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Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #costumes, #deception, #downtrodden employee, #awesome person in disguise, #spider eggs, #bosses coffee, #survive, #learned, #knowledge is over rated

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Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #mentally weak, #no ambition, #no self respect, #happiest person, #kill, #psychology

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Alice: You're mentally weak. You have no ambition, no pride, and no self-respect. Wally: I'm also the happiest person in this room. Alice: Now I just want to kill you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #suspicion, #startegic engineer group, #worst in one group, #insightful, #business

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Boss: Ted, I'm moving you to a newly formed strategic engineering group. Ted; Are you putting all of your worst employees in one group so you can later eliminate the function and avoid firing each person individually? Boss: You picked a bad time to to become insightful.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #honesty, #criticize bahavior, #monkey on crack, #moron

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Boss: Criticize the behavior, not the person. The email you sent to everyone looks as if it had been written by a monkey on crack. Just to be clear, you are terrific, but everything you do is exactly what a moron would do.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #flattery, #photogenic, #turn negative, #monster, #vibe, #nailing it

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Carol: You take everything wrong. Alice: What's that supposed to mean? Carol: For example, suppose I say you're photogenic. Alice: Are you saying I don't look good when you see me in person? Carol: There it was. Alice: There was what? Carol: It's the think you do to turn everything into a negative. Alice: Oh, so now I'm a monster. Is that what you're saying? Carol: Yes. Alice: Good. That's the vibe I'm going for. Carol: I'm just saying you're totally nailing it. Alice: Watch this! Grrrr!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #snobbishness, #random subordinate, #own boats, #touch people, #ceo.meeting, #rich, #porr

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CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #sales personnel, #linux, #million dollars, #pay for upgrade, #away for free

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Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.