Achieve Full Ptential Comic Strips - Page 7
195 Results for Achieve Full Ptential
View 61 - 70 results for achieve full ptential comic strips. Discover the best "Achieve Full Ptential" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 26, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert and his senator sit across from a woman whose head is surrounded by cigarette smoke. There is a full ashtray on the desk. The senator has a "Sale" sign on his head. The woman says, "Mister Dogbert, the tobacco lobby is very interested in buying your senator." The woman continues, "We've been taking a beating from the anti-smoking fascists. I blame the media." The woman continues, "What we need is more attention on the positive aspects of smoking . . . Like sex appeal." The smoke clears and reveals the woman's ugly, withered head. Dogbert says, "Yes, sir."
Share December 07, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits on a couch holding hands with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your eyes are like the moon on an autumn night, full of mystery and magic." Dilbert continues, "Your lips are like earthworms, painted a hideous red and caught on the sidewalk during a rainstorm." Dilbert arrives at home with bruises on his face and broken glasses. Dogbert asks, "Home early?" Dilbert replies, "At least I didn't have to kiss the worms."
Share April 27, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits on the floor across from a man in a robe. The ascetic says, "You must renounce all physical pleasure before you can achieve true cosmic joy." Dilbert replies, "Renounce it?! Heck, I don't think I've ever HAD a physical pleasure!" The spiritual advisor says, "And you must shave your head . . ." Dilbert says, "Oh, I get it; then you can rub the little stubble as it grows in!"
Share April 28, 1992's comic on:
A man sitting on a mat says to Dilbert, "To reach cosmic joy you must give away all of your possessions." Dilbert asks, "What if I give everything away but still do not achieve cosmic joy?" The ascetic replies, "Then the cosmic joy is on you." Dilbert says, "I'm starting to see how this works."
Share May 16, 1992's comic on:
A man sits at a conference table with two co-workers. He thinks, "I'm feeling confident today with what appears to be a full head of hair." The man thinks, "Nobody suspects that I'm actually combing the hair that grows in my ears over the top of my otherwise bald head." The man thinks, "It's amazing how clueless these people are."
Share June 20, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a customer service desk at a bank. Dilbert says, "I'd like to apply for a 'Bank of Ethel' credit card." The woman behind the desk says, "Sit down and shut up." The woman says, "It's 21% interest plus surprisingly high annual fees. We'll do a credit check and a full body cavity search." Back at home, Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert wearing just his boxers. Dilbert says, ". . . And I had to smile the whole time because they were filming it for their television ads." Dogbert says, "You have to admire their attitude."
Share June 24, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."
Share July 21, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert hands a book to Dogbert and says, "Here's the full script of the rest of your life. My supercomputer model predicted it." Dogbert reads the script and says, "Well, according to this I'll be kidnapped by evil squirrels and forced to work in their nut mines." Dilbert says, "They get me too." Dogbert says, "I didn't know that evil squirrels had nut mines." Dilbert replies, "It's probably too late to do anything about it."
Share September 11, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert hands a woman flowers and says, "Here are the flowers and the non-refundable date deposit." Dilbert hands the woman a diskette and says, "This diskette has my dating history, personal references and full financial disclosure." Dilbert asks, "When may I expect the rejection notice?" The woman replies, "I can give you a verbal now . . ."
Share October 22, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert, who is holding a stethoscope, says to a room full of people, "Attention, all patients!" Dogbert continues, "I have turbocharged the x-ray machine and aimed it at the waiting room. Everybody close your eyes for five minutes then leave. Your diagnoses will arrive by mail." Dogbert walks away saying, "It was a stroke of genius to schedule all of the hypochondriacs for the same day."