Doesn't Know Much Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Doesn't Know Much

View 61 - 70 results for doesn't know much comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Know Much" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #penny, #doesn't, #dog, #car, #side of road

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to the ground and says to Dogbert, "Look, a lucky penny in the street . . ." As Dilbert picks up the penny a car drives through the puddle in front of Dilbert and splashes him. Dogbert says, "A penny doesn't go as far as it used to." Dilbert is soaked.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mesozoic era, #giant, #plastic, #bone, #fake, #vomit, #wrap, #toss, #tar, #pit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You know, Bob, I always pictured you dinosaurs as . . . Uh . . . Much bigger." Bob replies, "Ah, well, you see, practical jokes were very popular in the Mesozoic era . . ." A dinosaur says to a clerk in a novelty store, "Ooh-ooh! Give me the giant plastic bone and one fake vomit!" The salesclerk asks, "Shall I wrap them or just toss them in the tar pits?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #note, #Dilbert, #potato, #glasses, #eyes, #contact, #lenses, #reference, #Dogbert, #lady di, #witch, #witch's curse

View Transcript

Transcript

The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #garbage man, #die, #cloning, #machine, #design, #math, #errors, #Dogbert, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The garbage man asks Dogbert, "Not much garbage . . . Did somebody die?" Dogbert replies, "Dilbert went to the compost pile in the sky." The garbage man reads a piece of paper and says, "Bad timing . . . Judging from last week's garbage, he had almost finished his cloning machine design. I only notice a few linear math errors." The garbage man continues, "This design would just create a hologram and a bad chile con carne recipe." Dogbert says, "Man, you sure know your garbage!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #chosen, #lunch, #executive, #office, #smarter, #nice, #normal, #glass ceiling

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert is chosen to have lunch with an executive." Dilbert sits at the table wearing a suit jacket. The executive says, "I want you to know that I'm just a normal guy . . ." The executive continues, "Oh, sure, I make a little more money, and I have a nice office . . ." The executive continues, "And of course, I'm much, much smarter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #naked, #news, #lucas, #ranch, #dan, #life-like, #special, #effects

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Seriously, how do we know the news isn't all faked??" Dilbert says, "Geez, Dogbert, get over it. Why don't you just call George Lucas and ask him if he's doing the whole thing with special effects?" At the Lucas Ranch, a man holding a mannequin says to George Lucas, "We built a new Dan Rather, but it still doesn't look lifelike." A man sitting at a table plays with a Space Shuttle on a string.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #world, #news, #country, #doug, #tiny, #monarchy, #king, #descendant, #deity, #head, #doesn't

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #engineers, #shun, #assigned, #budget, #pounce, #moment, #hypothetical, #electricity, #alice, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "The other engineers shun me because I'm assigned to work on the budget." Wally covers his eyes as he walks by Dilbert and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "They know I could pounce any moment and asks inane hypothetical budget questions." A man covers his eyes and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert asks a woman, "What if you only had half as much electricity next year?" The woman covers her eyes and says, "Too late. I shunned you."