Dressed Like God Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for dressed like god comic strips. Discover the best "Dressed Like God" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #victim of curse, #20/20, #john stossel, #shows cure, #commercial, #valuable information, #old nemesis, #tv shows

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Dilbert, cursed by both Dogbert and the World's Smartest Garbage Man, sits watching television. He has Dogbert's eyes and nose and is dressed in garbage man coveralls. The tv says, "Are you the victim of a curse?" Dilbert says, "Yes, I am." The tv says, "Next on 20/20, John Stossel shows you the cure." Dilbert's ears shoot straight up and his garbage man hat flies off. Dilbert pokes his head in the doorway and says, "Ha! After the commercial I will get valuable information for people like me!" Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Well, well. It seems my old nemesis, John Stossel, was been busy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #eds farewell gift, #treated like dirt, #guilty, #five dollars

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A secretary holds an envelope and tells an uptight co-worker, "I'm collecting for Ed's farewell gift." Woman pulls something out of the envelope and says, "Ed, you treated me like dirt. I find you guilty and I fine you five dollars." First woman says, "I just put that in there." Angry woman says, "Come back if you get more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the ceo, #board of directors, #double pay, #bleat like sheep, #meeting, #baaa, #business

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert and executives sitting at a table. Dogbert says, "I make a motion that the board of directors double my pay." Dogbert continues, "All in favor, bleat like sheep." Dilbert and Wally stand outside the conference room and bear "BA-A-A" sounds eminating from the room. Wally says, "I think we're missing a check or a balance somewhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #earthlings, #susupicous, #competent and caring, #aliens, #aline dressed as boss, #helpful to carol

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In an alien space craft, two aliens converse with one another. One is dressed as The Boss and holds a 'The Boss' mask. The Boss is in a containment unit. The Boss alien says, "I think the earthlings are getting suspicious." As The Boss alien puts his mask on, the other alien replies, "Keep acting competent and caring. Our prisoner says that's how leaders act on their world." Back in the office, Carol sits at her computer terminal while The Boss says, "Carol, let me do the org chart on my PC. You have too much work already." Carol yelps, "AAAGH!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #%#*!!*, #asoks ears, #curse at work, #ears fell off, #like to curse, #vulgarity, #warm up

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Ann sits in a meeting with Dilbert and Wally. Ann says, "I must warn you, I'm one of those women who like to curse at work." Ann turns to Asok and screams several obscenities. Asok's tie and hair fly back in a stiff wind. Ann says, "That was my warm up." Asok says, "My ears fell off!!" Asok looks at the conference table where an ear lays on other side of his paper.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #mathematical proof god, #smartest garbageman, #transposed varaiables, #proves existence of dog, #you exist, #error, #hear something

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"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #simple molecules, #powerful chemicals, #simple cells, #powerful life forms, #powerful comouters, #less capable components, #supreme being, #future, #god consciousness, #files, #web browser, #fly

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals . . ." Dogbert continues, "Simple cells combine to make powerful lifeforms." Dogbert continues, "Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers." Dogbert continues, "Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert continues, "Therefore, a supreme being must be our FUTURE, not our origin!" Dogbert says, "What if 'God' is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!" Dilbert says, "That would certainly limit the types of files I download. I wonder what it would do to response times." Dogbert says, "It's so nice to spend time alone with my thoughts." Dilbert says, "My web browser would FLY!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new vp, #cost containment, #first priority, #reduce expenses, #office supplies, #supply cabinet locked, #butter efficient secreatray, #naive question, #dispirited hollow shells, #product shoddy, #get supplies, #like honesty

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The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Asok, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like you all to meet our new vice president in charge of cost containment." The VP says, "My first priority is to reduce our spiraling expenses for office supplies." The VP continues, "From now on, your supply cabinet will be locked." The VP continues, "The only key will be under the control of your bitter and inefficient secretary. Questions?" Asok raises his hand and says, "I am only an intern so please excuse this naive question . . ." Asok continues, "I've noticed that the employees are all dispirited hollow shells, management is random and our products are shoddy." Asok asks, "How are you going to solve that by making it hard to get supplies?" The VP looks angry. Asok says to Wally, "I thought you said they like honesty." Wally whispers, "Ask how much he's paid. It shows you care."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss can't understand hire, #rodeo clown, #engineer, #smells like hay, #fifty percent, #data network engineer, #engineering

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A man in a dirty shirt says, to the boss, "Mwa fwa fwa ooh mah fuh." The boss says, "I can't understands a word you say." The boss says, "And your poorly dressed. You must be some sort of technology expert. Or a rodeo clown." The boss introduces dirty guy to Alice. The boss says, "There's a fifty percent chance I hired a data network engineer." Alice says, "I smell hay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #life like dumpster, #stinks, #reincarnate, #both hands stink, #life stinks, #devil, #dumpter

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Phil and Asok sit up to the necks in trash in a dumpster. Phil says, "Asok, life is like this dumpster." Phil says, "On one hand, it stinks..." Asok says, "Both of my hands stink now." Phil says, "And then you reincarnate."