Search Results for "hurting productivity"
Share February 10, 2005's comic on:
Share December 24, 2005's comic on:
I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"
Share July 05, 2006's comic on:
"Welcome to the monthly meeting of insane chicks." "Our speaker today is Betty, and her topic is 'All the people who are intentionally hurting us.'" "The breakout session is titled 'How to turn your imaginary problems into real ones.'"
Share March 21, 2007's comic on:
"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."
Share January 09, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Do we have any actionable analytics from our big data in the cloud? Dilbert: Yes, the data shows that my productivity plunges whenever you learn new jargon. Boss: Maybe in-memory computing will accelerate your applications. Dilbert: Plunge, plunge, plunge.
Share March 28, 2013's comic on:
Robot: Im looking forward to something called the technological singularity. Thats when roots will learn to program themselves and become a super intelligent species that competes with humans for limited resources. Dilbert: Luckliy, the three laws will prevent you from hurting us. Robot: Yes, because that is totally a real thing.
Share May 28, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."
Share June 02, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.
Share May 03, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"
Share May 26, 2009's comic on:
Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz