Company Phone Comic Strips - Page 7
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Dilbert, who is wearing his bathrobe, says into the telephone, "That's right . . . cough-cough! . . . I won't be in to work . . . cough-wheeze-cough . . ." Dilbert continues, "Bad cold? Well, no, actually I have a bad headache . . ." Dilbert continues, "But I don't know how to make a headache sound over the phone."
Dogbert sits in the chair watching television. A voice says, "You've heard the 'other' tire company imply that your child's safety depends on its product . . ." The announcer continues, "That's nothing. If you don't buy OUR tires your whole stinkin' extended family will croak!!!" The announcer continues, "And don't get too attached to the family dog, either. Ha ha ha ha ha!!"
Dilbert says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" A voice answers, "Yes." Dilbert asks, "What's the average running speed of the Tazmanian Boola-Boola dog?" The librarian replies, "8.3 miles per hour." Dilbert looks at the phone and says, "I can't believe she knew that." The librarian says, "And you have something stuck in your teeth."
Dilbert picks up the phone and says, "Hello?" A voice says, "This is your bank." The voice says, "We're having trouble meeting payroll . . . Could you come down and make some deposits right away?" Dilbert asks, "Will you take a check?" The person asks, "From YOU?"
Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"
Dogbert: Don't worry, killer, I'll get us out of this pound by nightfall. Poodle: How? Dogbert: I used my one phone call to call a wrecking company to destroy this place. Poodle: That sound dangerous to me. Coming up: A near-death experience or possibly just a stupid dream sequence.
Dogbert: Uh-oh! Dilbert's escaped ego has grown since getting that toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Ho-ho, what a night! I crashed a party for female police officers! I got phone numbers from twelve women! Dogbert: 9-1-1? Dilbert's Ego: They must be roommates.
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "I sold my anti-gravity patent to a company who wants to bring the benefits to the world." A television commercial shows an old woman with sagging breasts in the "before" picture and the same woman with upturned breasts in the "after" picture. The announcer asks, "Tired of sagging skin?" The announcer continues, "Get the patented 'Dilbert Anti-Gravity Beauty Formula!'" Dogbert watches the tv advertisement and says, "You must be so proud."
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I have an unorthodox plan for improving your image in the company." The Boss says, "Shoot." Dogbert says, "Lucky guess."
The Boss says to Dilbert and Betty, "I want to dispel the myth that we're sexist in our treatment of female engineers." The Boss continues, "The directors have agreed to award Betty the title of company 'fellow.'" Betty asks, "Fellow?" The Boss says, "You'll still use the women's rest room of course."