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Dilbert: We're ready to fire up our laser communication technology to contact the alien probe heading to Earth.
Boss: Is the alien probe unmanned?
Dilbert: It is now.
Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate.
Dilbert: Can he speak?
Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation.
alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand.
the boss: okay. better safe than sorry.
alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?