Finish Comic Strips - Page 7

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124 Results for Finish

View 61 - 70 results for finish comic strips. Discover the best "Finish" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #frustration, #design, #specs, #deadlines, #schedule, #incompetence

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Coworker: Did you finish the design according to my specs? Dilbert: Yep. Coworker: Hypothetically, if I had forgotten to mention several features, would that be a problem? And let's say the deadline is still the same. Dilbert: No problem. I always plan my schedule around your incompetence.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #traffic, #work, #co worker, #shopping, #week, #attractive nuisance

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secretary: Wally, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Wally: I didn't have time. I spent all week shopping on the company's online supply ordering site. Hey, you can't blame the guy who just uses the attractive nuisance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #advice to intern, #don't finish on deadline, #freedom, #overworked, #less time, #nitpick

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wally: Heed my advice, young Asok. Only an idiot finishes a project before the deadline. The less time you give people to nitpick. The more time you have to pretend you are overworked." Freedom is just another word for people finding out you're useless.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #hands to boss, #insensitive, #plop, #toss, #worked all night, #disregard, #overlooked

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Dilbert: I worked all night to finish the assignments on time. The Boss: Toss it on the pile. Dilbert: I'd feel better if you used a different choice of words." The Boss: Plop it on the top.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #failure, #slide, #complicated, #trade show, #vortex of failure

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Dilbert says, "Our project plan is so complicated that failure is assured." Dilbert says, "But complexity is too abstract for you to manage, so instead you will spray me energy into the vortex of failure." Dilbert says, "Go." The Boss says, "I need you to finish it six weeks sooner for a trade show."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #help, #Advice, #fear, #thinking, #role model

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Dilbert says, "I have no project. Do you need any help with yours?" Asok says, "No. If I finish my project too soon, I might become like you." Dilbert says, "Can you make a different face when you imagine being like me?" Asok says, "I'm trying but I can't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

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Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #project, #budget, #deadline, #resources, #ridiculous

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Dilbert says, "I'll never be able to finish my project on time." The Boss says, "You need to take ownership." Dilbert says, "Can I hire more programmers?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Can I reduce the number of features?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "So...I'm just taking ownership of the failure?" The Boss says, "Don't be greedy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #wings, #halo, #lying, #disappearing, #work, #side effects, #medication, #business

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Dilbert says, "Please ignore my wings and halo. They are side effects from my prescription meds." Dilbert says, "Anyway, my pointy-haired boss asked me to tell you that we will finish the prototype on time and on budget." Woman says, "That is one bad tell you got there." Poof! Poof!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #stubborn, #stupidity, #project, #unavailable, #bureaucracy

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The boss says, "Finish this project in two weeks." The boss says, "And make sure you get input from all the executive stakeholders." Dilbert says, "That's impossible." The boss says, "Why?" Dilbert says, "Let's call one of the ten stakeholders and I'll show you." Beep beep This is Ed Bigston's voice mail. I'm not available...ever. I am either on vacation, or sick, or traveling, or in a meeting. I do not check e-mail or return phone calls. Like the horizon, I am more of a concept than a corporeal being. Despair is your only option. The boss says, "Try faxing him."