Ignorance And Envy Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for ignorance and envy comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorance And Envy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best donuts, #diet, #employee eats, #top five, #donut eating, #tempting, #envy, #boss diet, #health

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Wally: "How's your diet coming along?" "MM-GUWUNG-MM-GUH-MUH!" "It's hard to pick the one best doughnut I've ever had, but this one is in my top five."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air bubbles, #buffer overflow, #ignorance (knowledge), #interview question, #interviews

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Interview question Boss: How would you diagnose a buffer overflow problem? Interviewee: I'd put the circuit board in a bucket of water and look for air bubbles. Boss: That sounds right. Interviewee: I just diagnosed a problem with your interview question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actors & actresses, #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #opinions, #informed opinions, #hard data, #life is a lie

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Wally: I like to have opinions. But not informed opinions. It takes so much work to get informed that it defeats the whole point of having an opinion in the first place. Dilbert: What exactly do you think is the "point" of having an opinion? Wally: The point is that it feels good. Dilbert: That's totally nuts. Wally: Oh, is it? Unless you have hard data to back up that comment, it was nothing but an uninformed opinion. That felt good. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're starting to make sense! Wally: Your whole life is a lie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #employees, #hatered, #run over, #clown, #ugly truth, #demise, #bad wishes, #business

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The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #above average, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #top 110%, #study of managers, #percentages, #business

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Boss: A study says that 74% of managers think they are above average. That means that 36% of managers aren't aware that they are above average too. Dilbert: The way I look at it, you're all in the top 110%. Boss: Exactly. Thank you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #coffee, #good managing, #horing, #ignorance (knowledge), #insulting, #managers & supervisors, #smart people, #confontation, #business

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Boss: Today I learned that the secret of good managing is hiring people who are smarter than I am. Maybe I'll try that next time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #values, #don't run with scissors, #ask for raises, #employee values, #business

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CEO: Experts say we need to empower employees with "values." So I guess we need some values, whatever the heck those are. Boss: I think it's like "Don't run with scissors." CEO: Let's start with that and see if they stop asking for raises.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #joking, #new software, #interrupt you, #carpal tunnel, #replace humans

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Boss: The new software will interrupt you every five minutes so you don't get carpal tunnel. Dilbert: Aren't you worried the software will replace you? hee-hee! Boss: I don't get that. Dilbert: That's why it's funny.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #appleby ceo, #admit wrongs, #other people, #humbly admit, #business

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CEO: The CEO of Apple says a leader should admit when he's wrong. That won't work for me because I'm never wrong. The best I can do is admit when other people are wrong. Boss: That sort of misses the point. CEO: Well, I humbly admit you're wrong.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #ignorance (knowledge), #product features, #hodge podge, #complexity, #teamwork

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Dilbert: I added all of the product features that each of you demanded. Now our product is a worthless hodgepodge of complexity. I appreciate your input. I couldn't have failed without you. Boss: Teamwork!