Incomplete Answers Comic Strips - Page 7
277 Results for Incomplete Answers
View 61 - 70 results for incomplete answers comic strips. Discover the best "Incomplete Answers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 14, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and another worker sit at a conference table. The Boss holds a document and says, "You should all follow Wally's example of how he quantifies his contribution to revenue." Wally explains, "Basically, I assumed my project would fail without me. Therefore all the revenue it generates can be attributed to me." The other worker asks, "Aren't we all on the same project?" Wally answers, "Yes, but evidently we're not all equally valuable."
Share March 08, 1995's comic on:
The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Are you working twice as fast since I doubled your staff?" Dilbert sits at his desk with Barry. He answers, "I've coded twelve modules . . . Barry is on a journey of discovery where he will find out my mouse is not a microphone." Speaking into the mouse, Barry says, "Hello! Anybody!" Back in his office, the Boss sits in front of the computer contemplating his mouse. He says, "That would explain why nobody ever comments on my announcements over the P.A. system."
Share March 13, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and Dogbert. Dogbert says, "I promise that if I decide to buy your company I'll gladly recommend a position for each of you." Wally, who is also sitting at the table, asks, "Really? You'd make sure we all got jobs?" Dogbert answers, "No, but I'll recommend a 'position.'" Dilbert and the Boss look shocked.
Share March 17, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits at the Boss's desk. Dilbert and Alice stand in front of him. Dilbert says, "The rumors are destroying our productivity. We can't work with all this uncertainty." Dogbert answers, "I plan to buy proven technology and hire contract employees. You'll be gophers for the contractors until you resign in disgust and humiliation." Dilbert and Alice look scared. Dilbert asks, "Is there any way to get back to uncertainty?" Dogbert answers, "I'll see what I can do."
Share March 18, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."
Share March 23, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk and addresses Wally, Dilbert and the Boss. Dogbert says, "I've decided to sell the company for a huge profit. I found some very discriminating buyers." Wally asks Dogbert, "When you say discriminating, you mean . . . ?" Dogbert answers, "They hate people from this country." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's okay. We have laws to protect us." One Elbonian says to the other, "They're lazy, but at least they're funny!" The other laughs, "Hee hee." The Boss looks shocked.
Share March 24, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his cubicle. He asks Dogbert, "How could the Elbonians afford to buy this company? Their whole country is just mud." Dogbert imagines a television screen showing an Elbonian holding a container with the figure "$119.95" above him. Dogbert answers, "They packaged the mud and sold it as a cosmetic on the 'Couch Shopping Network.' They made trillions." Hugging his knees to his chest, Dilbert comments, "At least they know how to manage resources." Dogbert replies, "They sold their entire country in little jars. Most Elbonians perished in molten lava at the Earth's core."
Share March 30, 1995's comic on:
Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."
Share March 31, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. Alice says, "I'd like to kick-off the project with the traditional bad-mouthing of the guy who worked on this before." Alice yells, "He's so slimy that slugs pour salt on HIM. His brain would rattle in a flea's skull!" Alice turns to Wally and says, "Oh, and I'll need your files." Wally answers angrily, "Fleas don't have 'skulls!!'"
Share April 11, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert and a male employee sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, so we shipped a million keyboards that don't have the letter 'Q.' What do we do?" The man says, "We could offer free upgrades to users who can prove they need a 'Q.'" The Boss asks, "How many users need a 'Q?'" The man answers, "Well . . . there's the royal family . . ."