Instant Message Comic Strips - Page 7
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97 Results for Instant Message
View 61 - 70 results for instant message comic strips. Discover the best "Instant Message" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 27,
2003
Tags #record loss, #press release, #ceo stepped down, #100 million, #tenure, #shareholders, #bought stock
Transcript
Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"
Thursday January 29,
2004
Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety
Transcript
Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.
Tuesday August 31,
2004
Tags #don't eat money, #false hope business, #lose weight, #get rich, #semi plausible
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm going into the false hope business. All I need is a semi plausible message about how to lose weight while getting rich." "Don't eat your money."
Sunday September 12,
1999
Tags #relocatating, #better cubicle, #team of movers, #boxed possessions, #undisclosed location, #laminate company id
Transcript
Asok is packing boxes. He tells Dilbert, "I'm relocating to a better cubicle." Asok continues, "Tonight a team of movers will take my boxed possessions to an undisclosed location." Asok continues, "They're also going to laminate my company I.D." Asok continues, "I'm supposed to leave it with the guard on the way out." Asok holds up a check and says, "And I got paid two days early!" Asok continues, "It's all because management appreciated the constructive criticism I posted on the message board." Asok folds his arms proudly and says, "As I hoped, my condescending tone helped them to see their folly." Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I rifle through your boxes and take office supplies?"
Friday February 11,
2005
Tags #addicted to email, #endorphins spike, #loneliness and despair, #email to self
Transcript
"I'm addicted to e-mail. My endorphins spike when I get a message." "When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me." "Have you tried sending e-mail to yourself?" "We don't talk about that."
Thursday July 14,
2005
Tags #schedule message, #breakfast, #breakfast guy
Transcript
Five-Star Hotel "I'd like to order breakfast and schedule a massage." "Mmm...a nice massage and then breakfast." "Well, I WOULD 'get rubbin,' but I'm only the breakfast guy."
Friday August 26,
2005
Tags #urgent, #budget numbers, #technology, #amazing, #data, #delete spam
Transcript
Subject: URGENT Dilbert, give me your budget numbers as soon as possible. "Technology is amazing. I type one message and within minutes I'll have my data." "First order of business: Delete all spam e-mail that has a subject of 'Urgent'."
Saturday September 24,
2005
Friday March 24,
2006
Tags #art, #artist, #modern art, #expression, #obtuse, #con, #scheme, #money, #fake
Transcript
My idea is to drape a huge tarp over the hideous sculpture in the courtyard. "My message will be that art is as much about the negative space as the positive." "Plus it's not really art unless someone is winning."