Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 7
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396 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 61 - 70 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 20,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #appleby ceo, #admit wrongs, #other people, #humbly admit, #business
Transcript
CEO: The CEO of Apple says a leader should admit when he's wrong. That won't work for me because I'm never wrong. The best I can do is admit when other people are wrong. Boss: That sort of misses the point. CEO: Well, I humbly admit you're wrong.
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Monday March 04,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #maintenance plan, #managers & supervisors, #over budget, #take chances, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Should we buy the maintenance plan or just take our chances? What do you prefer? Boss: I prefer to punish you for buying the maintenance plan and going over budget, but I also don't mind firing you for not buying it if we later need it. Which one of us has a better job?
Thursday April 11,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #wifi enabled, #bus, #commute from san fransico, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Google provides a wi-fi enabled bus for its employees to commute from San Francisco. Why can't we be more like that? Boss: You want to be more like a bus? Dilbert: I found the problem.
Friday April 19,
2013
Tags #competition (psychology), #managers & supervisors, #thwarting rivals, #competitions, #expensive engineering solutions, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Have you heard any rumors about what is driving our boss's decisions lately? Alice: He's thwarting a rival within the company by offering only prohibitively expensive engineering solutions. Dilbert: My work has meaning, but it's not the good kind.
Sunday February 13,
2011
Tags #honesty, #less meetings, #less micromangemt, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #more meetings, #more with less, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We have to learn to do more with less." Dilbert says, "Less meetings?" The Boss says, "No. We'll need more meetings to figure out how to do more with less." Alice says, "Less micro-management?" The Boss says, "No, I'll have to watch you more closely than ever to make sure you're doing mroe with less." The Boss says, "I'm talking about using less money." Alice says, "Oh, like a death spiral. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Alice says, "It's as if you're talking more to say less." Dilbert says, "Should we be more like you or less?"
Sunday February 27,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #new server, #corrupt operating system, #bad server, #recover data, #reinstall, #redeploy it, #blindingly obvious, #alternative is chaos, #chaos as good, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Build a new server to replace the one with the corrupt operating system." Dilbert says, "That's what I'm doing right now." The Boss says, "Recover the data from the bad server and put it on the new one." Dilbert says, "That's the whole point." The Boss says, "Then see if you can reinstall the operating system on the old one and redeploy it." Dilbert says, "Do you have any instructions that are not blindingly obvious?" The Boss says, "This is called managing. The alternative is chaos." Dilbert says, "How did you just make chaos sound like a good thing?" The Boss says, "You should test the new server." Dilbert says, "Seriously, can we try the chaos thing?"
Tuesday March 01,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #managers & supervisors, #government nagging, #rid of waste, #motivational paper weight, #nice going, #avoid licking, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "The government is nagging us to get rid of our dangerous radioactive waste." The Boss says, "On a totally different topic, I'm giving each of you a motivational paperweight that says, 'Nice going.'" The Boss says, "Try to avoid licking them."
Thursday March 03,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #mobile (cell) phones, #app, #awesome, #don't fire me, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, there's an app for you." Cellphone says, "Waa-waa! Don't fire me!" The Boss says, "How awesome is that?"
Wednesday March 09,
2011
Tags #avarice, #managers & supervisors, #wages, #open minded, #worst idea, #hostory, #not give raise, #business, #money
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need you to be open-minded about this idea." The Boss says, "Oh, really?" The Boss says, "That's the sort of thing people say before they describe the worst idea in the history of the world." Dilbert says, "My idea is to not give me a raise." The Boss says, "I'm hating you a little extra."
Saturday May 04,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #appear charistmatic, #high expectations, #character flaws, #your end, #charisma, #business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say I can appear charismatic by setting high expectations. Dilbert: Or maybe you could improve your charisma by fixing your character flaws instead of making me work harder. Boss: No, I'm fairly sure the problem with my charisma is on your end.