Salary Budget Comic Strips - Page 7
394 Results for Salary Budget
View 61 - 70 results for salary budget comic strips. Discover the best "Salary Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 18, 1997's comic on:
Catbert peers over a wall and says, "Wally, the company bought a life insurance policy on you." Catbert explains, "Our plan is to raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels." Catbert asks, "Did you know that our CEO makes fifty times your salary even though our stock is down?" Wally covers his ears and shouts, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Share March 01, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a stool. The panel contains the title, "Dogbert Presents: The Seven Advantages of Being Dumb." The caption says, "1. Impending doom doesn't bother you." Dilbert tells Bob the Dinosaur, "There's a hole in the ozone layer." Bob replies, "Cool!" The caption says, "2. Television is a source of constant wonder." Bob sits in a chair watching tv and thinking, "I wonder if Doogie is a doctor in real life." The caption says, "3. You have a solution for every problem." Bob thinks, "If people are starving in Africa they should move to France." The caption says, "4. You are not constrained by a budget." Bob sits in the driver's seat of a convertible car. He shouts to Dilbert, "It was free! They just make you sign papers!" The caption says, "5. You've seen Elvis . . . Frequently." Bob watches a man walk by and says, "It's the King!" The caption says, "6. Instant replays are as exciting as live action." Bob watches tv and thinks, "This time he could make it." The caption says, "7. You receive twice as many compliments." Dogbert says, "You're kind of the Dan Quayle of dinosaurs." Bob says, "Really?! Wow!"
Share August 06, 1997's comic on:
The Boss sits at a table, his hands folded together and says, "We're going to try something called 'open book management.'" The Boss looks to Dilbert and Wally and syas, "We'll teach you to read the finacial statements of this company. It's all very motivating." Wally looks at a report and says, "... and our CEO got paid more than the entire capital budget." Alice says, "Is this what motivation feels like?"
Share September 02, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a filing cabinet. He wears a crown and holds a scepter. The Boss bows before him. Dogbert says, "Tell the employees to get wheelbarrows to carry my salary out." Dogbert says, "Turn out the lights when you're done. You're all downsized. Shoo!" The Boss leaves in a daze. Caption: The Media Loved Him A mob of reporters surrounds Dogbert's filing cabinet. One reporter says, "Can we call you 'Buzz Saw Dogbert'?" Dogbert says, "I bought your parent company today. You're downsized. Shoo!"
Share October 29, 1997's comic on:
Catbert says to Wally, "I can't raise your salary level because you don't have ten years experience with 'Java' coding." Wally raises his hand and says, "Nobody has ten years experience with new technology! You're just being evil. Admit it." Catbert's head spins. Wally says, "And could you please shake your head back and forth instead of spinning it around?"
Share December 06, 1997's comic on:
Chil is consulting Dogbert about his career. He says, "I'd be good at any job involving sin." Phil says, "Perhaps something in the bingo field, or maybe budget work." Dogbert suggests, "How about marketing?" Phil frowns, "I have a soul. It's just a small one." Dogbert says, "Gotcha. No marketing... no auditing... no garment manufacturing..."
Share February 06, 1998's comic on:
Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."
Share March 03, 1998's comic on:
Project Status: Dilbert is giving a presentation. He points to the overhead projection. He says, "Due to budget cuts, our new product will have no user interface." The projection shows a blank computer monitor. Dilbert continues, "Our target market is people who are too shy to return products." The projection is of a person blushing. Dilbert comes home carrying his brief case. He says to Dogbert, "Is it a bad sign if you spend the day wondering why there are no laws against what you do for a living?"
Share March 26, 1998's comic on:
Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I'm the Rag Man from Project Luser." Rag Man says, "Budget cuts have hit our project hard. I'm forced to beg for resources." Dilbert holds out something and says, "I can spare some pencil shavings." Rag Man says, "Excellent! We make coffee out of that."
Share March 30, 1998's comic on:
In The Boss's office, The Boss tells Alice, "I can't give you a raise because you're above the salary midpoint. But at least your stock options are doing great!" Alice says, "I don't have any stock options." The Boss says, "Oh. I'm probably thinking of me." The Boss says, "Next, it says I should coach you on your interpersonal skills."